Monthly Archives: March 2007

You get what you listen for

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Seth Godin has a great post today in which he discusses what a “great audience” is and receives from the speaker!

A great audience does…

  • make eye contact
  • pay attention
  • mirror energy back to the speaker (assuming of course that the speaker is projecting some energy of his/her own)
  • interact with the material (e.g. asks questions; engages in mental dialogue)

A great audience gets…

  • more attention from the speaker
  • extra effort from the speaker
  • more “Walk-away” value from the message

As a speaker I TOTALLY “get this!”

When I’m speaking it doesn’t take long to identify the “Drainers” and the “Fillers.”

The “Drainers”…

  • Look like they ate lemon poo for breakfast (i.e. they look SOUR, ROTTEN, and UNHAPPY)
  • Spend more time looking at the wall and the bulletin than they do at the speaker
  • Interact more with the person sitting beside them than they do with the speaker
  • Sleep… for God’s sake go to bed early before coming to church! ;-) (the best I’ve ever had here is a snorer on the front row… oh yeah, he got a LOT out of that sermon!)

The “Fillers”…

  • Engage with the content as demonstrated through facial and body language (e.g. laughter; tears; thoughtfulness; etc.)
  • Make eye contact with the speaker

When I’m speaking I identify the “Drainers” and the “Fillers” and guess who I look at more… ;-)

So, the moral of the story is, if you eat lemon poo for breakfast before coming to church you may not get as much out of the message!

Read all of Seth’s article here.

The Five Most Viewed Posts of The Month

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The end of the month is here… CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

The posts that got the most attention this month…

  1. Do me a favor… tell me the truth (SUMMARY: stop watching me self-destruct cause you’re scared of hurting my feelings!)
  2. I’m fed up with the “… Church” (SUMMARY: labeling church is complicating church… STOP IT!)
  3. My treasure (SUMMARY: a picture of my bride and a short commentary! Way to go babe! You made the Top Five! I love you!)
  4. What makes a great blog? (SUMMARY: a conversation starter that will lead to a post on what makes a great blog! Thanks for your interaction.)
  5. The Top Five Reasons Why Leaders Fail (SUMMARY: a post written last month that explores a few reasons why leaders fail. This is the most viewed post to date.)

Thank you guys for checking out and interacting with this blog!

For all my Northgate friends… I love you guys!

For all of my blogosphere friends… I love you too!

Pastor’s challenges

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One of my favorite bloggers, Mark Batterson, is currently traveling, teaching lessons from his book, In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day.

In his most recent travels he hung out @ in the Pittsburgh area.

A fellow blogger, Jeff Leake, captured his notes… a great synopsis! (Click here to read them in their entirety)

Batterson says that five challenges that pastors face…

    • The identity challenge – Batterson says, “Ten years ago I was trying to be a pastor.  Today, I am just trying to be myself.”
    • The family challenge – balancing family and ministry… particularly challenging for Type A’s
    • The criticism challenge – who are you offending and how are you dealing with the criticism?
    • The creativity challenge – doing ministry out of imagination rather than memory (i.e. things that worked in the past)
    • The growth challenge – How am I as a pastor/leader growing and how is my team growing?

      What kind of challenges do you think that pastors face?

      Rest time updates

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      Monday I’ll be back in the saddle… I’m looking forward to that! I enjoy what I do and am raring to go! The first meeting on Monday is @ 5:30 a.m. … just gotta get going! ;-)

      For the last couple of weeks I’ve been…

      • Hanging out with “The Ladies”
      • Painting!
      • Putting down some new flooring (today)
      • Watching old reruns of King of Queens! I broke down and bought season five! I love that show!
      • Spent some time out of town… teaching and checking out Northway church in Wexford, Pa

        It’s good to “get away” from the every day “churn” of things.

        A few reasons why everyone should get away for some rest time…

        • It allows you to tackle BIG projects around the house
        • It gives you fresh perspective on family and life – My bride is an absolutely AMAZING mother and ridiculously hard worker… she never stops! I am a blessed man! Life with four, soon to be FIVE, Ladies is AWESOME! The stress of work should never trump the joy of home! God help me on this one… Please!
        • It gives you fresh perspective on work – I’ve got new energy and ideas when I get back; energy and ideas that I wouldn’t have if I’d not stepped out of the office for a couple of weeks. I can’t wait to preach on Easter! START INVITING YOUR FRIENDS TO THAT SERVICE! WE’RE GONNA SHATTER SOME OLD IDEAS ABOUT OUR LEADER… JESUS!
        • It makes your spouse (wife in my case) glad you’re not always home! ;-) I’m kidding… kinda! I realize that the home is like any other organization… there is a series of systems that make it function and when you throw “change” into the system it takes a while to adjust. So, now that we’re adjusted… I’m gonna go back to the office! ;-)

        Do you take “Rest-Time”?

        There’s a problem in the church…

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        This weekend I was able to hang out with six other pastors and talk through the book of James… and of course we talked about church too!

        You know what… I realize that there’s a problem in the “Church” (at large). I’ve been mulling this over for a couple of months now and am going to put it out there discussion.

        Here’s the problem…

        Church members and pastors typically have different sets of expectations! This is common in churches of all sizes and denominations!

        Here’s how it works…

        Church members have a tendency to think in terms of a trichotomy…

        • Us (i.e. the church)
        • The Pastor
        • Them (i.e. the people outside the church – unsaved/unchurched)

        The problem is that most pastors think in terms of a dichotomy…

        • Us (i.e. the church)
        • Them (i.e. unsaved/unchurched)

        The expectation of most pastors is to…

        • “We” (i.e. the church) will bring “Them”  (i.e. the unsaved/unchurched) to Jesus… and build them up in that relationship so “They” can go and bring more people to Jesus!
        • NOTE: Most pastors see themselves as a part of the church… or at least they want to be a part of it…

        The expectation of a lot of church members is that…

        • The pastor will preach to us
        • The pastor will provide pastoral care for us
        • The pastor may lead some to Christ… and encourage us to do the same
        • NOTE: I think that often times (based on the stories from pastors and church members) the pastor is viewed as an outsider who wants to impose change and create chaos

        Another way of saying it…

        • Member’s expectation = “The pastor is here for us.”
        • Pastor’s expectation = “I’m here to lead this church to reach the unsaved/unchurched.”

        Or maybe we could say it like this…

        • Many members say, “What about us?”
        • Many pastors say, “What about them?”

        I sat in a room filled with pastors this weekend and listened as each shared their frustration and even some of the pain that has flowed out of these misaligned expectations.

        I have also sat and listened to many members speak of the frustration caused by their pastor who just “doesn’t seem to care.”

        Yea, so there’s a problem… it’s a problem of expectations.

        Totally unrelated thoughts

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        I’m prepping for the day and have a bunch of unrelated thoughts running through my head… what’s that mean about me? Ahhhh… it’s nothing that a good cup of coffee and a quick blog post can’t take care of…

        • I’m excited to teach the book of James this weekend! This is the first of a two weekend teaching series for pastors. I’ll be in Pleasantville, PA… the one “spot” in America that does not have a cell phone tower! ;-)
        • I’m tired of painting! I’ve painted the bathroom, living room and hallway so far! Next week I’m tackling (with the help of some friends) the installation of some new flooring in the kitchen and bathroom. I’ll also be finishing two closets, and I’ll be wrapping up the finishing touches with a paintbrush! Dang bro… I’ll be glad to get back to the office!
        • When I teach a class on preaching I will use two books for the texts:
          • Communicating for a Change by Andy Stanley. Stanley urges communicators to narrow their teaching down to “One big idea.”
          • Made to Stick by Chip Heath and Dan Heath. The Heath brothers teach the communicator how to make that one big idea “stick.”
        • I’m going to write a post on “When to quit.” Sometimes the best thing you can do is quit… but that’s gonna have to wait until next week!
        • I’m gonna start reading Karl Barth’s biography… soon! It came in the mail yesterday! I need to read more autobiographies and biographies in order to keep up with my reading schedule (see here). If you don’t have a reading schedule… it’s something you should consider! Watch less TV, get up earlier, do whatever you have to do to engage with great thinkers, leaders, etc.
        • I hope you like the new layout of the blog! Some places to check out…
          • I’ve updated the “About” tab… (It’s in the top left hand corner of this blog)
          • Check out the right hand side of this blog… sign up for the blog in your e-mail
        • Justin (our Creative Arts Director) is working on a new church website and IT’S HOT!

        OK, gotta roll… thanks for checking out this blog!

        Do me a favor… tell me the truth

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        Yesterday I had an interesting experience that confirmed a few things for me.

        One of my daughters receives in-home therapy. We have five therapists a week in our home.

        Side Note: My bride is an angel! I have spent the last several days in awe as I watch her manage the steady flow of therapists, three little people (ages 4, 3, & 1 1/2), cook GREAT meals, keep the house clean, and still have time to offer commentary on American Idol! Oh yeah, and she’s seven months pregnant! What have I been doing you ask? Painting the bathroom and prepping the living room for paint… and trying not to get in the way!

        OK, back to the story…

        At four years old my little lady is getting close to “go-to-school” age (Yea, I’m weepy about that).

        As we consider special needs education we have to consider things like: cognitive expectations; physical expectations; social expectations; etc.

        We have discussed these things and, our plans with the therapists. No one has disagreed with our plans… until yesterday.

        Yesterday one of our therapists said, “I don’t think that your little girl is ready for the plan you have in mind.”

        Keep in mind that Sherri and I have high expectations for “The Ladies” and are admittedly “Pushers.” At the same time we are aware that there are limitations.

        After a lengthy conversation with this particular therapist I asked, “Why hasn’t anyone ever told us this? Why has everyone listened to our plans and just mumbled and nodded their consent?”

        Her answer… “Cause we didn’t want to make you feel bad.”

        WHAT THE HECK KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?

        Listen, I’d rather you tell me the truth and risk making me feel bad than to let me feel good and watch me make a HUGE, life-defining mistake!

        Because of this input we are seriously reconsidering our educational plan for our little girl!

        All I want to know is how many of our therapists talked with each other or thought to themselves, “This is a mistake! Their plan isn’t right for this little girl,” and said NOTHING!
        And then I started thinking…

        How many times have I watched someone make a really stupid decision and NOT said anything because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings or make them feel bad?

        Here’s the scoop… that’s lame! Don’t think you’re being a friend if you care more about my feelings than my future. Don’t think you’re helping me if you watch me walk off a cliff because you don’t want to run the risk of hurting my feelings.

        My respect for this particular therapist went through the roof yesterday. She said some tough stuff… she disagreed with us in a loving, but firm way and consequently she may have changed the course of our little girl’s future.

        The moral of the story…

        Life-changing conversations may hurt some feelings, but they are the litmus test of true love.

        A few lessons:

        • Not every disagreement is worth talking about. We should “Put it on the table” when we know facts that our friend does not know. If you know something that would help me make a better decision… tell me! Keep in mind though that it is possible for two people to have the same pieces of information and still make different decisions! You must ask, “What is to be gained by putting this disagreement on the table?” Remember, not all disagreements are equal in nature!
        • Emotional puking is not helpful. If you are going to disagree with someone, respect his/her position but lay out the reasons why you disagree with them. Just saying, “I feel…” does not support your case, it is “Emotional puking,” and I will run when you do that! I need facts and anecdotes to persuade me.
        • Do not be offended if the individual does not immediately accept your advice. He/she has thought about the decision he/she has made and will need time to rethink the issue.
        • If you love me, you will tell me the truth and I will know you love me. If you love yourself you will run from the difficult conversation and watch me self-destruct and I will know that you do not love me.

        Nine great questions

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        While reading from Philip Yancey’s book Prayer I came across nine GREAT questions that I’m chewing on…

        1. How can I slow down? (For pastors, see Mark Driscoll’s story here)
        2. How can I simplify things?
        3. How can I bring silence into my life?
        4. How can I savor this moment?
        5. How can I speak up? (Tell the truth)
        6. How can I settle in? (Establish roots and rituals)
        7. How can I shed my armor and masks?
        8. How can I soften my approach to life?
        9. How can I serve the community?

        Good grief… this is gonna keep me busy for the rest of my life!

        How we do staff meetings

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        Bob Franquiz had a conversation starter on “Staff meetings” (read it here).

        I thought I’d share how we do staff meetings at Northgate!

        A couple of organizational points first…

        • Every Monday we have an “All-Staff” lunch. This is for everyone on staff!
        • Our Support Staff meets on Monday with Jeff (Director of Operations).
        • Our Ministry Staff meets with their individual supervisors on separate occasions (e.g. children’s workers meet with Pastor Vern – Director of Discipleship)
        • Our Management Team (Pastors and Director of Operations) meets on Tuesdays from 8-12.

        The agenda for our Management Team meeting…

        • 8-9 = prayer and worship. This has been the best decision we’ve ever made! “Management” decisions that flow out of prayer are the best decisions. We pray together, sing together, and saturate in the presence of our Leader (Jesus).
        • 9-9:30 = book study. We take turns picking out a book to read and study together. This keeps us all growing together and helps to stimulate some pretty incredible conversation! It is also cool to see what kind of books each team member picks! It’s a great way to learn and learn about each other!
        • 9:30-10:30 = “BIG” Study. During this hour we tackle big church issues (e.g. Discipleship process; when to add a new service; etc.). We do SWOT analysis’, invite people in to address issues (see here for example of this). This hour provides us time for focused planning and thinking on one topic.
        • 10:30-11:30 = “Data Dump” – This is where each member of the Management Team brings his/her “stuff” to the table. This is a great time for communicating, clarifying, asking questions, and getting help from one another.
        • 11:30-12 = Worship planning – During this last half-hour we wrap up any last minute details for the weekend. We do most of our detailed planning in our monthly worship planning meetings (see here for more info). In this last half hour we nail down announcements, last minute adjustments, etc.

        And now you know the “Rest of the story…” ;-)