I love waking up early in the morning, drinking Starbucks coffee, spending time hearing from God, and then soaking myself in some good reading!
I share these highlights with you, but primarily I “put them on paper” because I look back at them from time to time to hold myself accountable to what I’m learning.
Today’s highlights…
The Bible - by God
- 2 Samuel 11 – David was a jerk! He “did it” with another man’s wife and then had that man (Uriah) killed! I know, I know! He was “a man after God’s own heart”, but you’ve gotta admit… he was a scumbag too! I’m blown away, and filled with hope, at the kind of people God uses!
- 2 Samuel 13:14-15 – when lust is fulfilled… it disappoints! It’s amazing how unrestrained lust can drive people to do crazy things, and yet in the end it does not deliver what it promised!
Authority and Submission – by Watchman Nee
- “The gates of Hades cannot prevail against the church. But a spirit of rebellion can open the gates. The church is not victorious because there are rebellious ones within her. When there is no rebellion, the earth cannot open its mouth. All kinds of sins release death. Only submission to authority will shut the gates of Hades and release life.”
- “Submission to authority is not submission to a person. It is submission to the anointing upon the person, the anointing which was upon him when God set him up as authority.”
- “Only those who submit to authority can themselves be the authority.”
The Five Love Languages of Children – by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
- “Children think we deeply believe what we say.” (BE CAREFUL what you say when you’re under pressure! They believe you believe it!)
- “Long before they can understand the meaning of words, children receive emotional messages. The tone of voice, the gentleness of mood, the ambiance of care all communicate emotional warmth and love. All parents talk to their infants, and what the babies understand is the look on the face and the affectionate sounds, combined with physical closeness.”
- “The words ‘I love you’ take on greater meaning when the child can associate them with your affectionate feelings, and this often means physical closeness.”
- Chapman and Campbell give some great council concerning praise, its frequency and authenticity:
- “If you use praise too frequently, your words will have little positive effect. [...] Children know when praise is given for justified reasons and when it is given simply to make them feel good, and they may interpret the latter as insincere.”
- “Frequent random praise is risky for another reason. Some children become so accustomed to this type of praise that they assume it is natural and they come to expect it. When they are in situations where such praise is not given, they assume something is wrong with them and they become anxious. When they see other children who do not receive such bolstering, they can wonder why they feel such excessive need of praise.”
- “We want to praise children we care about, but we want to make sure that the praise is both true and justified. Otherwise they may regard it as flattery, which they can equate with lying.” (For a great verse on flattery, click here or just check out Proverbs 29:5)
- The authors discuss the “love language” of “Quality Time.” As I read this a few things occurred to me…
- “Date nights” with my girls is a good thing. Each Saturday night I take one of “The Ladies” to church with me and then afterwards we go out for a date… usually ice cream! It’s some of the best one-on-one time! I love getting to know my kids!
- I’m going to start carving out an hour a week for each child. Susannah Wesley did this with her ten kids, I can do it with my four (plus however many more!)!
- We always hear things like, “It’s quality time that matters.” Things like this usually come from parents who don’t spend quantity time with their kids. It’s a worn out cliche used to assuage their conscience. I recall reading a life-changing sentence, “Quality time flows out of quantity time.” I agree with that! For the most part, you can’t schedule quality time! It happens spontaneously and usually it’s the result of quantity time! I’m going to spend more quantity time so we can have more quality time so that “The Ladies” will never doubt that mom and dad deeply love them.
Filed under: Parenting, What I've learned from books
You are such a wonderful daddy….God Bless you, Sheri and your little ladies
Some great thoughts to digest here!!
Auth/Submission: when we submit to God’s authority and begin to obey, the more complicated things get, yet when we know and accept that He is in control, the easier it is to listen and obey…crazy paradox…awesome feeling!!
Watching what you say to kids: Kids ALWAYS remember anything you want them to forget…
Quality/quantity Time: date nights/1:1 time are awesome! go with no “agendas”, enjoy, and let the conversations just flow…incredible! it’s all about priorities…I hear more people worried about missing a TV show…if you can find time to spend an hour watching your favorite TV show, but not an hour to spend with your kids…where’s the priorities? Kids know…
I really like this blog and what you stand for.
Family is so apparently First for you and speaks a million words.
But with you like your wallet
Oh course God is up there too.
God has GRACED you. This blog had alot to digest and I am still am. Keep it up….
In His presence,
Heidi
‘ Spiritual authority’ This is one of the books that was used as a foundation for the Shepherding movement back in the 80′s.-here are specifics;
Below are a few statements in this book that I don’t see New Testament support for.
Page 22-23 under “First Lesson a Worker Should Learn Is Obey Authority”: We are under men’s authority as well as having men under our authority. This is our position. Even the Lord Jesus on earth was subject not only to God but also to other’s authority… A Christian worker ought to know who is above him. Some do not know who are the authorities above them, hence they do not obey. We should not be occupied with right or wrong, good or evil; rather should we know who is the authority above us. Once we learn to whom we must be subject, we naturally find our place in the body.
Page 71 under “Be Fearlessly Subject to Delegated Authority”: People will perhaps argue, “What if the authority is wrong?” The answer is, If God dares to entrust His authority to men, then we can dare to obey. Whether the one in authority is right or wrong does not concern us, since he has to be responsible directly to God. The obedient needs only to obey; the Lord will not hold us responsible for any mistaken obedience, rather will He hold the delegated authority responsible for his erroneous act. Insubordination, however, is rebellion, and for this the one under authority must answer to God.
Page 180-181 under “To Be in Authority Often Means Loneliness”: In learning to be in authority we ought to be sanctified before brothers and sisters. Many legitimate things we cannot do and many lawful words we cannot speak. We must be sanctified both in words and in sentiments. According to ourselves we take a certain attitude, but among God’s children we will be sanctified. Even our fellowship with brothers and sisters must have a limit beyond which we will neither be casual nor frivolous. We should rather lose our liberty, we rather will be lonely. Loneliness is the mark of authority… The opposite of holiness is commonness, not sin. To be sanctified is to be different from others….The sparrows fly in flocks, whereas the eagles fly singly….To be in authority requires restraint; one must sanctify himself. Others may but you cannot; others may speak, but you cannot….You may feel lonely and miss the fervor of the crowd; nevertheless, you dare not mingle with the brothers and sisters in joking and jesting. This is the price of authority. Unless we sanctify ourselves like our Lord we are not qualified to be in authority.
Page 182-183 under “To Be in Authority Requires Restraining One’s Affections”: I will show myself holy among those who are near me.”…There is a much severer discipline applied to them than to the people in general…. As has already been mentioned, the opposite of holiness is commonness. Holiness means that others may, but I cannot. What the disciples may do, the Lord does not. What other brothers may do, those in authority cannot do. Even lawful affection needs to be put under control; otherwise death can be the consequence. The people of Israel died because of their sins, but priests may die because of not being sanctified….Those who serve are anointed by God. They should sacrifice their own affections, denying even legitimate ones. All who would maintain God’s authority must know how to oppose their own feelings, how to lay aside the deepest of their affections towards their relatives, friends and loved ones. The demand of God is exacting: unless one lays aside his own affections he cannot serve God. He who is sanctified is God’s servant; he who is not sanctified is a common person.
Page 184 under “Sanctified in Life and Enjoyment”: It is therefore a matter of enjoyment. Others may enjoy, but we cannot. Others may rejoice in pleasures (for wine speaks of rejoicing), but we cannot. People serving God are under discipline that they may be able to distinguish between the holy and the common, and between the unclean and the clean…. The higher the office, the stricter the demand. The degree of nearness to God becomes the degree of His demand. Of him to whom God entrusts more, the more will He demand. God especially concerned with whether of not His servants have sanctified themselves.
Page 185 under “Authority Is Based on Sanctification”: Authority has its foundation in sanctification… You cannot represent God if you maintain very liberal and loose communication with the people. The higher the authority the greater the separation.
Page 191 under the chapter “The Conditions for Being Delegated Authorities”: To be in authority is costly; such ones need to be sanctified from the rest and be ready for a lonely life…. As soon as one becomes too common, he is dropped from the work. His usefulness is gone, and his authority is lost.
Its about controlling people, legalism, a very dangerious form of fundamentalism
King George 111 used Romans 13 against the colonists in the revolution. Romans 13 was the bases of ‘divine right of kings’ to rebel against them, was to rebel against God, a nifty arrangement. He was told “If Kings rule by divine right, then let them rule in heaven!”-Thomas Jefferson
Watchman nee’s book is a return to the authoritarian legalism of ‘kings,’ dangerous, medieval, scary.
I know who I would agree with, between Watchman Nee, and Jefferson!
I invite comments;
Len