Every leader experiences organizational and interpersonal conflict at some point. The difference between effective and ineffective leaders is how they handle it!

Michal Feiner in his book The Feiner Points of Leadership, discusses Six Laws of Leading Conflict…

• #1 The Law of Interdependence – Leaders CANNOT rely on power alone to resolve conflict! Effective leaders realize that they are in a “constant state of interdependence” with other people and that their leadership capacity is only as great as their ability to effectively interact with and influence those around them! “Overreliance on power generates conflict, as people feel bullied into following a leader. ” Feiner says, “What makes a leader isn’t a title, but his or her ability to convince and persuade people with different views that his or her approach makes the most sense. That’s why High-Performance Leaders, rather than simply relying on the power of their office, are constantly selling their ideas and priorities rather than commanding people to accept them. By doing this, they show that their people and their opinions matter to them….”

• #2 The Law of Building a Cathedral – Again - Keep reminding people about the mission (i.e. why we’re here)! “We’re not just cutting stones. We’re building a cathedral!” Feiner suggests that this missional focus “reduces the likelihood that unhealthy conflict will arise.”

• #3 The Law of Options - Feiner gives six methods of dealing with conflict. The discerning leader understands that there is no one standard approach for dealing with conflict! You have options… keep them open!

• Option #1 Avoiding – Act like there’s not a problem.

• Option #2 Confronting - Address the problem.

• Option #3 Compromising - Split the difference (you give a little and I give a little). Feiner offers makes the qualifying point that “if the substance of the conflict is not personality-based, but issues-based, a compromise solution may not successfully get all the important facts out in the open.”

• Option #4 Delegating - allow a subordinate to address the conflict. Positively, this is a great way to “fully utilize the strengths of your team”, and send the message to your organization that not every problem should be sent directly to the leader’s desk. Negatively, it can quickly turn into an abdication of leadership.

• Option #5 Collaborating - Working together to arrive at a better final solution than any of the initial solutions. The word synergy comes to mind.

• Option #6 Accomodating - “Sometimes a leader may decide that giving in to ‘keep the peace’ is the best option, particularly if maintaining the relationship is the overarching objective and the contentious issue doesn’t jeopardize the organization.” Lose on purpose!

• #4 The Law of the Conscientious Objector – “Never take up arms in someone else’s fight – even if he or she is your boss.” Though this may seem to contradict other laws we’ve discussed, this law “sets an important ceiling on the extent to which you should demonstrate professional commitment. Display commitment to your boss, certainly: but do it through the quality of your work, not by criticizing others.” Don’t fight for or defend your team, boss, etc. by tearing others down in a verbal war!

• #5 The Law of the Last Chance Saloon – “There are times when a leader must ask people in conflict to resolve it themselves – or live with the resolution the leaders chooses and imposes.” Give people a chance to “fix it” and if they don’t… you must.

• #6 The Law of Healthy Conflict – The conflict of ideas keeps an organization healthy and must be encouraged! “Debate, discussion, disagreement, and dialogue are the lifeblood of vibrant and adaptive organizations. For this reason, High-Performance Leaders establish the conflict of ideas as a cultural value.”