Sherri and I talk frequently about what we want our girls to “be”. We don’t care so much about what they “do” as we care about”who they are.” (click here to read “Four things I want for my children.”)
We talk about the various character traits we want to see in “The Ladies” and we talk about how to create healthy character.
I just read some great stuff from Tim Kimmel’s book Raising Kids for True Greatness regarding character traits in children. These are the kind of things I want to see in “The Ladies”:
- “Other’s-orientation” – Kimmel says, “This is more than just looking outward; it’s the art of making people feel valuable and loved.” Every day when I take Lexington to school I pray with her that “Jesus will use her to bring joy to other’s hearts and put a smile on their face.” I pray that God will use my children to make other people feel valuable and loved.
- Trustworthiness - Oh God, I want my girls to be dependable! I want them to have the strength of character that will lead others to say, “When times are tough… you can count on the Peterson girls to be there!” God, help me to train my girls to be worthy of people’s trust; to keep their commitments; and to model integrity for their friends, etc.
- Tenacity - An unwavering commitment to finishing what they start… perseverance… strength… determination…
- Courage - “This is hard to do if you are preoccupied with raising safe kids. [...] The job of parents is not to raise safe kids but to raise strong ones. Helping them learn to calculate risk and step out in faith should be center stage in your parenting curriculum.”
- Compassion - “Great people want to lighten people’s burdens and dispense hope to everyone they can. From simple encouragement to harder things that actually cost them something, people who glorify God go out of their way to make life better for the people God puts in their path.”
These are characteristics I want to see in my children.
Kimmel says if you want to see these characteristics in your children you must:
- Model them. Show your children what courage, tenacity, compassion, etc. look like! They will do what they see so let them see these characteristics in your life!
- Encourage your children. It’s easy to fall into the rut of scolding what we don’t like. What would happen if we became “Encouragement machines”?
Kimmel wraps up with some great counsel for life in general and parents in particular,
“God did a great forgiveness for you. He did a great transformation in you. And He wants to do a great work through you. Let Him do it. Give Him your attitude, and let Him squeeze out all the self, confusion, second-guessing, and fear… just let Him wring it out of you. In its place, let the attitude of a great parent shine in everything you do.
Love big!
Work hard!
Forgive gladly!
Repent quickly!
Encourage graciously!
Speak humbly!
Play enthusiastically!
Think abundantly!
And… never stop dancing!
Filed under: Parenting, What I've learned from books
ditto!