Monthly Archives: October 2007

Being daddy

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Today I started reading a book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, with a buddy of mine, who is also a dad.

Just a thought: It is a great experience to read and discuss good books with other people. If you have a good book, don’t keep it to yourself… share the journey with a friend!

A few quotables from chapter one:

  • “Fathers, more than anyone else, set the course for a daughter’s life.”
  • “If you fully understood just how profoundly you can influence your daughter’s life, you would be terrified, overwhelmed, or both. Boyfriends, brothers, even husbands can’t shape her character the way you do. You will influence her entire life because she gives you an authority she gives no other man.”
  • “Fathers, you need to know that your daughters are growing up in a culture that is yanking the best right out of them. [...] Fathers are what stand between daughters and this toxic world.”
  • “When you are with her, whether you eat dinner and do homework together or even when you are present but don’t say much, the quality and stability of her life – and, you’ll find, your own – improves immeasurably. Even if you think the two of you operate on different planes, even if you worry that time spent with her shows no measurable results, even if you doubt you are having a meaningful impact on her, the clinical fact is that  you are giving your daughter the greatest of gifts. And you’re helping yourself too – research shows that parenting may increase a man’s emotional growth and increase his feelings of value and significance. Your daughter will view this time spent with you vastly differently than you do.”

Oh man… this last line hit me! Sometimes, when I’m on a date or playing or reading, etc. with “The Ladies” I feel torn… kind of like, “Man, I need to be doing church work” or “Big people stuff.” Sometimes I wonder stupid stuff like, “How am I going to change the world by reading Dr. Seuss?”

Maybe I am changing the world by dating, or playing or reading Dr. Seuss with “The Ladies”. Maybe I’m changing the world for my little girls.

Being a follower of Jesus

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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a follower of Jesus… a Christian.

Let me give you a few verses/thoughts that are shaping my thinking…

St. John asks and answers a great question – Question: “How can we be sure we belong to [God]?” Answer: “By obeying His commandments” (1 John 2:3).

What I want to know then is “what are His commandments?”

St. John tells us what they are! He writes, “This is His commandment: we must believe in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another.” (1 John 3:23).

Another verse that is shaping my thinking is John 8:31…

Jesus said, “You are truly my disciples if you keep obeying my teachings.”

There are a lot of other verses we could talk about, but it seems to me that these few verses efficiently summarize what it means to be a Christian:

  • Believe that Jesus is alive and commit to following His leadership in your life. (Check this out)
  • Allow His teachings to guide your decisions and shape your life.

What do you think?  Let’s have a discussion.

Today… some waddup

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Today was a big day.

I was able to spend time with Brian Bloye and Gary Lamb.

One of the coolest parts this church planting residency experience is that I am able to spend time with high capacity leaders like this asking them questions and learning from their experiences.

This Sunday afternoon I’m going to All Access at New Spring church. On Monday and Tuesday I’ll be hanging out on the homefront here at Mountain Lake Church for their Best Practices of Church Planters Practicum.

This year is shaping the rest of my life and the lives of everyone that God will trust me, my family, my ministry team, and our church to minister to.

This church planter residency program is simply incredible.

If you’re thinking about planting a church… you MUST do this!  

Catalytic Quotes: Part 6 (Dave Ramsey)

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Dave Ramsey was incredible! I’ve read his Total Money Makeover and am a raving fan… but seeing him in person is a whole new experience! (you can read my favorite “Ramseyisms” from his book here)

This dude is passionate, informative, and truly a catalyst for financial life-change! If you ever get a chance to see him… by all means, GO!

His catalytic quotes included…

  • “Money gives us margin and options.” He taught us that, “When there’s no margin, everything is a crisis! An emergency fund eliminates emergencies!” He suggests that everyone have an “Emergency fund” of $1,000. (My friend Casey Graham teaches that you should have $1,000 OR the amount of your highest deductible set aside in an emergency fund.)
  • “Finances is 80% action/behavior and 20% knowledge.” Boy is he ever right on this one! It’s easy to know I don’t have the extra money to eat out this week, but to actually NOT eat out is a bit more difficult!
  • Dave’s definition of prosperity – “Prosperity is having the money to do God’s will in your life.” I hate it when I have a desire to give and I don’t have the money! I want to have enough money to bless others whenever I feel like it… That’ll be prosperity!
  • He said that “Givers are less selfish people.” If you want to have a better marriage, etc. develop the mutual discipline of giving!

His teaching points were:

  • Have a written plan for your money.
  • Get out of debt.
  • Act your wage. (This was a great point! Don’t live beyond what your income can sustain.)
  • Save and invest.
  • Give!

A word to pastors…

Dave said that a lot of pastors teach “tithing” to people who are in financial chaos! What we should do is teach how to get out of debt and budget AND THEN tithing! Good point!

Mountain Lake Church is doing a great job of this! They have a financial class (ReThink Money taught by Casey Graham) that is taught on a regular basis! People are regularly cutting up credit cards, making commitments to get out of debt, creating spending plans, making time to talk with their spouses about money, etc. because of the teaching that they’re receiving in this class!

Good stuff from a couple of great teachers!

(Check out Tim Steven’s summary of Dave’s talk)

Funny things kids say

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We’ve been reading the kids Bible stories before bed and then making some simple, practical application.

Recently we read the story of Cain and Able. The practical application was “obey God.”

OK… follow me on this one…

We’ve also been teaching the kids that they should not eat poop. (That’s another story).

I know this is a lot of information for “The Ladies” but it is what it is…

The other day, on our date, one of my ladies apparently combined these lessons together. She looked at me, very seriously, and said…

“Dad, we have to listen to God… don’t eat poop.”

Apparently it’s not only mom and dad that don’t want us to eat poop… God doesn’t either.

Ahhhhh… the funny things kids say!

Catalytic Quotes: Part 5 (Craig Groeschel)

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We are in part five of a seven part series in which I’m highlighting the “Best of” quotes from Catalyst this year.

Craig Groeschel was outstanding as he talked about the “Practical Atheist.”

He defined a “practical atheist” as someone who believes God exists but doesn’t live like it!

Quotables:

  • Craig reminded us of something Bill Hybels said, “The way I was doing the work of God was destroying the work of God in me.” (Does this sound familiar to anyone?)

Craig said that when we are practical atheists…

  • We start to believe our effort is better than God’s power. He encouraged us to not hang our self-worth on the “success” or lack thereof in the church and life. He said, “If I blame myself for the decline, someday I may take the credit for the increase.” Honestly now… we Type A’s have a problem with this one.
  • We believe that our private life doesn’t affect our public ministry. Craig said that he came to a point where he realized that “The only good I did was in church.” He had reached a point where all of the “good” that he did was public or “professional”. The private/personal good-doing was missing. Oh God, this one rang my bell. You know what? It’s so easy for pastors to become “Professional Doers of Good Deeds”.
  • We believe that we must please people more than we should please God. Craig said when he was creating sermons he would thinking more about what would bring people in than what would bring honor to God. The other side of this is not addressing things that God would want addressed for fear of offending people (“churched” or otherwise). DANG IT! Again… he rang my bell!

So how did he escape the trap of practical atheism? He asked God to “disturb” him!

He found and prayed the prayer of Sir Francis Drake…

Disturb us, Lord, when We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future

My prayer… “God disturb me. I am good at being good. I know how to be a professional Christian. I know the words to use and the rituals to perform. I don’t want to live like that… ever… again. I want the love and the truth of my Leader, Jesus, to flow out of me and engage the people I meet. I want something fresh, new, powerful, Godlike flowing out of me, touching the lives of those around and beyond me. I want you Father God to live in and threw me. Forget “good”… give me God.”

(Check out Tim Steven’s summary of Craig’s talk)

It’s not about me…

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God has been teaching me something… something that I’ve “known” but now I’m finally starting to get it!

Here’s what He’s teaching me… “It’s not about me.” Nothing is!

Really, when I focus on me… my world keeps getting smaller and more frustrating, and impatience, anger, and pride rule the day. BUT, when I focus on others my world gets bigger! There’s more joy, fulfillment, love, and ironically… more satisfaction!

Let me share two ways I’m learning this lesson lately:

Fundraising.  This has been an amazing growing point for me. I’ve written before about this (click here to read “An honest confession about fundraising”). God has been pointing out to me that if I allow my pride to get in the way here, specifically by refusing to trust Him and His people to provide for us during this year, I will be a hindrance to the church He wants to start through us. It’s NOT about my pride, ego, desires, etc. It IS about what He is calling us to do and be.

Dating. Last night I went out on a date with Reagan. We got a pop (soda, coke, soft drink… or whatever else you may call it) and went down to the lake! She wanted to play in the sand/mud. I had some “Big People” stuff to do later (i.e. a meeting at church), so I sat on the dock watching her play. After her third or so invitation… I finally “got it” – “Paul, this is NOT about you and your stupid meetings!” So, I took of my socks and shoes and made mud castles, mud cupcakes, and mud buckets much to the delight of my date for the evening!
After I got over myself… we were dirty and wet but laughing and content! Reagan walked away with the memory of a dad who made mudcastles, but I walked away with a great memory AND a life-lesson… when I quit caring so much about myself I give more joy and find more joy! AND, I’m learning that it is in self-abandonment that we are most usable.

Here’s a picture of the little lady who is teaching me…

Catalytic Quotes: Part 4 (John Maxwell)

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John Maxwell hit a homerun at Catalyst this year.

Let me give you some context on Maxwell. A prolific author, he wrote the first book I’ve ever read on leadership, Developing the Leader Within You. His writings have largely shaped the way leaders across the world think about leadership. Though he is commonly known as “America’s expert on leadership” his teachings have shaped the way leaders across the world view and practice leadership.

This year he received the “Catalyst Life-Time Achievement Award.” He received it humbly and with tears in his eyes and then went on to share “one piece of advice” with the crowd of 11,000 + leaders… “Intentionally add value to people everyday.”

Some key walk-aways from his teaching:

  • You are either adding or subtracting value from people. We are naturally selfish and therefore naturally we subtract value from others. If you are going to add value to other people you must be intentional about doing it!

He said that people who add value to people do four things:

  • People who add value to people… value people. That is, they have a high view of humanity! They believe in the idea that we are created in the image of God and filled with potential! On a personal note, I have seen to many leaders who have a “people are stupid” perspective and consequently undervalue people! If we are to add value to people we must believe that they are worth the investment… we must value people!
  • People who add value to people… first make themselves valuable. The old saying is true, “Garbage in… garbage out”, and the opposite is true as well! If we are going to add value to people we must have something of value to give and the only way to do that is to fill ourselves up! We do that through continual self-development with such things as reading, etc.
  • People who add value to people… know and relate to what other people value. The value we add to people must be relevant to them or it won’t be perceived as value and therefore not received… not perceived = not received! When I understand those around me: their dreams, fears, motivators, etc. I am more likely to add value to them!
  • People who add value to people… value the things that God values because they have eternal value. Maxwell said, “Touch people, see people, lead people the way Jesus would.”

Thank you John Maxwell for teaching and modeling great, Christlike leadership.

(Check out Tim Steven’s summary of John’s talk)