Category Archives: Books I’m Reading Now

Don’t let failure stop you… again

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A couple of days ago I purchased and started reading Walter Isaacson’s biography of Steve Jobs on my Kindle Touch (which I am LOVING!).

I just read something that took my breath away… a story how the fear of failing again robbed Rob Wayne of $2.6 billion and incredible prestige!

Wayne was a friend who proved helpful in persuading Job’s partner and lead computer designer Steve Wozniak to leave HP and bring his designs with him to the newly formed Apple Corporation.

There was a meeting in which a partnership agreement was written up between the three of them, and that’s where we pick up the story…

…the division of shares and profits was clear—45%-45%-10%—and it was stipulated that any expenditures of more than $100 would require agreement of at least two of the partners. Also, the responsibilities were spelled out. “Wozniak shall assume both general and major responsibility for the conduct of Electrical Engineering; Jobs shall assume general responsibility for Electrical Engineering and Marketing, and Wayne shall assume major responsibility for Mechanical Engineering and Documentation.” Jobs signed in lowercase script, Wozniak in careful cursive, and Wayne in an illegible squiggle.

Wayne then got cold feet. As Jobs started planning to borrow and spend more money, he recalled the failure of his own company. He didn’t want to go through that again. Jobs and Wozniak had no personal assets, but Wayne (who worried about a global financial Armageddon) kept gold coins hidden in his mattress. Because they had structured Apple as a simple partnership rather than a corporation, the partners would be personally liable for the debts, and Wayne was afraid potential creditors would go after him. So he returned to the Santa Clara County office just eleven days later with a “statement of withdrawal” and an amendment to the partnership agreement.

“By virtue of a re-assessment of understandings by and between all parties,” it began, “Wayne shall hereinafter cease to function in the status of ‘Partner.’” It noted that in payment for his 10% of the company, he received $800, and shortly afterward $1,500 more. Had he stayed on and kept his 10% stake, at the end of 2010 it would have been worth approximately $2.6 billion. Instead he was then living alone in a small home in Pahrump, Nevada, where he played the penny slot machines and lived off his social security check. He later claimed he had no regrets. “I made the best decision for me at the time. Both of them were real whirlwinds, and I knew my stomach and it wasn’t ready for such a ride.”

He could have had $2.6 billion. Instead he lives alone in a small home in Nevada playing slot machines and living off of a social security check!

Why?

Because he was scared to fail again.

Please! Listen! If you’ve failed once… failed big… be careful that you don’t allow your fear of failing again to keep you from the biggest breakthrough of your life!

Do different things…

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I’ve been reading “Thou Shall Prosper: Ten Commandments for Making Money“. Dave Ramsey recommends this book all the time.

Written by Rabbi Daniel Lapin, this is a  great book on business, and is also packed with wisdom on personal development, living life with joy, and leadership insights too! It is one of the best books I’ve read in a long time!

Reading a couple of days ago I came across this quote and I have to share it…

“…if who you are and what you do fail to bring the success you desire, it is not sufficient to merely do different things; you also need to become a different person. The best way (and perhaps the only way) to become a different person is by forcing yourself to do different things until they become second nature.”

Of course I believe that there is also and perhaps more fundamentally a divine power available to all who will ask that not only points us in the right direction but also gives us the power to move towards that which is good and right.

Having said that though, the decision to embrace new habits and make bold new decisions is a critical one in the process of evolution!

SO… what new action(s) are you going to take up this year as you become the 2o12 version of you?

The Greatest Memories and the Best Days

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“The greatest memories are of the toughest victories and biggest challenges.

The most satisfying days are not the days when you had nothing to do.

The most satisfying days are the hardest days – the days when you had everything to do and you did it!”

(Mark Batterson in Wild Goose Chase)

Cancer… passion… cause

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Right now I am doing some reading that is well outside of my comfort zone both in terms of content and normal interest. I am reading The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer.

This is the story of the doctors, patients, researchers, activists, and warriors who have fought the battle against cancer.

This story is filled with the accounts of skeptics turned believers, victims turned heroes, outcasts turned trailblazers, and “failures” that led to breakthroughs.

Some of the words that come to my mind as I read through this amazing account written by Siddhartha Mukherjee are:

  • Desperation
  • Determination
  • Panic
  • Frustration
  • Fanatical
  • Heroism
  • Visionary
  • Risk
  • Courage
  • Heart
The passion and intensity with which these warriors fought and continue to fight cancer… hunted and continue to hunt the cure for this “emperor of all maladies” is breathtaking.
Many gave their lives for this cause. Nothing was more important. The risk they took in laying their own reputation on the line… the criticism they endured as they broke new ground in the fight against this disease… the dogged determination they displayed as they suffered setback and defeat often resulting in death of patients (many times children) and public humiliation all point to one thing… they were gripped by a cause that called and demanded everything of them.
Because they answered the call and gave everything it required many people are alive today having stared the “emperor of all maladies” in the eye and won.
Do you have a cause that has gripped you like this? Are you called by something so extraordinary that you will take great risk, suffer the pain of humiliation, and press on even when the quest seems impossible?
I pray that we will all find such a cause and give our lives completely to it.

Some “Waddup”

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Several years ago I began the practice of periodically posting “Waddup” notes. These are simply notes that highlight some of the “stuff” going on in my life. One of the purposes of this blog is to serve as a personal journal… hence the the “waddup” posts.

Here we go…

  • Last week, Church180 and Mountain Lake Church (the church where I did my church planting internship) partnered together and contributed over 400 volunteer hours to the Pilgrims Inn project! Pilgrims Inn is a shelter for women and their children who are in life transition. It is here that they learn new job and life skills, regain their confidence, receive help during time of need, learn to love and trust again, and are coached back into health! We love partnering with Pilgrims Inn and are excited about how God is using this partnership!
  • We have identified Church180′s new family pastor! Mike VanGilder and his family are packing up and preparing to move to Rock Hill, SC! They are coming from Florida and bring experience, passion, and a desire to build on the foundation that has been established! I’m looking forward to working with Mike! The VanGilder family is: Mike, Hannah, Ellise, Gabe, Olivia and Reid!
  • Right now I am teaching through the book of James at Church180. We are nine weeks into a 13-week teaching series! This is the longest series I have ever taught. It is good for me, and for our church, to walk through this heavy hitting book verse by verse! You can hear the teachings here.
  • Since June I have been hitting the gym 4-5 times per week and working out harder than I ever have. The result is a clearer mind, a purer heart and a deeper resolve. Seriously, I am a better Christian, husband, daddy, pastor and man when my body is being stressed at the gym. A big shout out to Rob at the Brutal Iron Gym for your advise on diet and exercise, and a big shout out to Dave and Jim for working out with me!
  • One of my spiritual disciplines is to read through the Bible book of Proverbs every month. Last month I wrote down every reference to finances. This month I am writing down every reference to wisdom, understanding, and knowledge. It is amazing what happens to your heart when you let Scripture shape your thoughts. Now I’m just waiting on the money and wisdom! ;-)
So that’s some of what’s been going on in my life recently.
How about you? What are some of the highlights in your life over the last six weeks?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be your own man (or woman)

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“Your level of health and maturity cannot be dependent on someone else’s. If it is you are a slave to someone else’s immaturity.” (Henry Cloud and John Townsend, How People Grow)

Perhaps the best thing you can do today is look in the mirror at the man/woman who has the most control over your life… you. Give him/her permission to take that control!

Stop blaming, waiting, or hoping that others will change so that you can change. It won’t happen. If they change… you’ll just find someone else to blame for your inadequacies. Take responsibility for yourself… today.

Dave Ramsey says, “If I can control the guy in the mirror I can be skinny and rich!”

He’s right! Who you are and what you become is up to you!

Stress that toughens

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Wow! James Loehr’s book, The New Toughness Training for Sports, should be required reading for everyone who is alive. You breathe… you read it. Don’t be deceived by the title. This is not a book exclusively for athletes. It is replete with wisdom for life and those who want to live well.

Because I cannot improve on what he has said, I am going to quote Loehr on the subject of “stress that toughens”. Here we go… (I have put some favorite lines in bold)

“…to much stress or to much recovery will lead to progressive weakening. You also know that physical, mental, or emotional pain is the language of over- and under-training. The question now is, how can you distinguish between stress that toughens and stress that weakens? To answer this you need to look at the issue of stress a little more closely.

…the volume of stress can be divided into four categories:

  1. Undertraining – too little stress
  2. Overtraining – too much stress
  3. Maintenance training – too little stress (at this level of stress you will simply maintain your current level of toughness)
  4. Toughness training – the volume of stress that leads to toughening (this is called adaptive stress)
It’s important to understand that only one relatively narrow band of training stress among the four categories leads to toughening.”
Stop for a minute! We’ve got to define “tough”.
Loehr writes, “Tough has nothing to do with the killer instinct or being mean. It has nothing to do with being cold, hard, insensitive, calloused or ruthless.”
He says, that “words and phrases like flexible, responsive, strong, and resilient under pressure” better describe “toughness.” After an extensive study on the subject he concluded that the real markers of toughness are: emotional flexibility, emotional responsiveness, emotional strength, and emotional resiliency.
His definition of “toughness” = the ability to consistently perform toward the upper range of your talent and skill regardless of competitive circumstances.” (Think Jesus Christ, Payton Manning, Navy Seals).
OK. Resume reading.
“It’s important to understand that only one relatively narrow band of training stress among the four categories leads to toughening. One of the four merely allows you to hold on to your present level of toughness; the other two result in weakening. So the critical question is how you can tell if the training stress you are experiencing – physically, mentally, or emotionally – is adaptive and therefore toughening, or not?
[The chart above] provides the answer. The key is in the distinction between pain and discomfort. To toughen you have to go beyond your normal limits, beyond your realm of comfort. When you simply do what is comfortable in your training you’re either getting weaker or maintaining your current toughness level. You clearly have to challenge yourself beyond your normal limits to grow. While you have to cross new frontiers, you must not venture too far or overtraining will occur. There’s always discomfort because it’s further than you’ve gone before. The point is simply this:
No discomfort – no toughening
No pushing – no toughening
No personal confrontation – no toughening
The objective is to deliberately seek out new challenges in your areas of greatest weakness. Deliberately seeking out stress and pushing yourself to new limits and new frontiers is active toughening. Using the uninvited, random challenging stresses of everyday life to toughen yourself is passive toughening. In either case, discomfort indicates adaptive stress.
As stated earlier, stress creates the conditions for growth. Recovery is when you grow.”
Paul speaking…
To grow, to mature, to get stronger we must experience stress! Don’t run from it! If anything… run to it! Simply make sure that the stress you are encountering is neither excessive nor too little for growth!

Quit caring – a strategy for losing

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My friend Rob, who also owns the gym where I work out, gave me a book the other day, The New Toughness Training for Sports by James E. Loeher.

I think that mental toughness is something that every one in general should work to develop, but leaders in particular should hone this skill. Loeher outlines a helpful strategy for athletes, but one that is applicable for everyone who wants to develop “mental, emotional, and physical” toughness too.

Discussing the danger and cause of low motivation he writes:

“Things can get very lonely, confusing, and painful. And the more you care, the more you hurt when you fail again to make it happen.

Athletes figure out very quickly that it hurts less when you don’t care as much. As a result, low motivation becomes a protective strategy for athletes who suffer many perceived failures.”

After recording these words in my journal I wrote, “It’s easier to not care… but it’s not the strategy of winners.”

Are you avoiding an all out effort to do something that you deeply care about… because you are afraid of failing?

Has failure in the past led you to act defensively today; to not care so much so that the sting of failure doesn’t hurt so bad?

It has happened to me. It can happen to you.

I don’t want to let failure in the past shape my heart and drain my passion for the future. That might well mean I will be hurt again in the face of failure (because every time you try, the opportunity for failure is there), but I know this for sure… if I don’t try, if I don’t care I will never win. And neither will you.

So, go care today! Try! If you fail and get hurt get back up! Keep caring! Keep trying!

Sometimes it’s good to be discouraged

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Oh man! This is good!

Henry Cloud and John Townsend, in their book How People Grow, write:

Confrontation is an important tool to get someone to see his inability to change and to see his need for help. Many people are too soft-hearted; they give encouragement to someone who needs discouragement instead.

To encourage a powerless person to try harder is one of the worst things you could possibly do. The best thing you can do is to discourage him from believing that he can do it on his own.

Sometimes we need to hear and sometimes we need to offer the brutal truth… “you are failing and things aren’t going to change until you get help.”

The idea that “I can get better by myself” has left trail of broken, defeated and discouraged people in its wake.

Sometimes the greatest realization is the one that says, “I’m broken and I can’t bet better by myself.”

To encourage those who are able is both good and necessary.

To discourage those who are not able is also both good and necessary! Discourage them from floundering and failing and encourage them to reach out for help! Help from God and friends!

I’m going to be honest here… I think the church in general could stand a good dose of this teaching.

Artificial enthusiasm and cheap encouragement is harmful. What might prove to be helpful is less flattery and more discouragement – “You can’t do it, but it can be done! Let me help!”

Go for it!

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Right now I am reading one of the best books I have ever read, The Perfect Mile by Neal Bascomb.

It is the story of Roger Bannister, John Landy, and Wes Santee; three runners each attempting to be the first to run a 4 minute mile.

On a day marked by inclimate weather, a day in which he almost decided not to run, Roger Bannister broke the 4 minute mile – 3:59.4.

Later that evening Peter Dimmock, “the honored statesman of British broadcasting, asked Bannister why he finally decided to go for the record despite the weather.

Bannister’s response should be printed and “posterized” for every person with a dream…

There comes a moment when you can’t go on waiting indefinitely. You just have to accept an all-out effort.”

So here’s  question for you and me – what do you dream of doing? Why aren’t you doing it?

Train hard then run! Prepare well then go for it!

Stop waiting! Get on your mark. Get set. Go!

For what it’s worth, after reading this morning I wrote in my journal:

“The Perfect Mile” is one of the best written books I have ever read! I literally find myself leaning forward with anticipation and squeezing out time for another chapter! Job well done Neal Bascomb!

This book is packed to the edges with stories of sheer determination, huge heart and iron clad will. I LOVE this story!