Tony McCollum is a pastor in Atlanta. He is the founding pastor of Fusion Church and the creator of such goodness as pastormojo.com and pastorgear.com.
Tony is a friend of mine and a mentor who I look up to and learn from. Recently he asked me to write an article for pastormojo.com. Today it was published.
I wrote about recovering from a disaster. It might be helpful for you. You can check it out here.
P.S. you can check out more of Tony’s goodness on his blog.
I am thirty-six years old. Strong. Intelligent. Blessed. And pretty darn humble too.
OK seriously… I am thirty six years old.
When I was twenty-five I knew what I wanted to do “for the rest of my life.” I’m not so sure about that anymore.
I don’t know how or where, but somewhere along the way things have gotten blurry. For the last couple of years I have wrestled with this thought:
Most young people are idealists. They come charging into life with intentions and plans to change the world, but somewhere along the journey “reality” sets in. They have a setback or two and before you know it the dreamers wake up, and “settle” for simply showing up and staying out of trouble.
When Idealism meets reality it seems like reality wins more often than not. Dreams get shelved… or worse, forgotten.
“Mature” men snicker and “poo poo” the enthusiasm of youth. They have forgotten what it felt like to dream. They have accepted “reality.”
And yet there is something beautiful about a man (or woman) who has taken a strong dose of “reality” and still continues to press forward with the dream… a person in whom idealism continues to breath!
I have met “reality” and tasted the bitter taste of disappointment and failure. I have felt the tug towards complacency and even been encouraged by some to “slow down.” And yet I live with the sense that these are the danger days… the days in which choices are made that separate dreamers from settlers… risk takers from security seekers. These are the days when I will choose to shelve my passion and hunker down or I will choose to light it up and move forward. I have seen enough middle aged and older people living with regret that I am determined not to be one of their number.
But I am troubled. What used to be so clear is not so clear any longer.
Somewhere along the way I have lost my clarity… my driving purpose… my “hill to die on”… the crusade for which I will give my life.
Now, I know that to write this is risky. It means that the people I pastor may wonder about me. It means that those who look up to me (everyone shorter than 6’1) may not look at me the same any longer. Some may not understand. This note is not for them.
This note is for you… those of you who, like me, still have a passion to change the world, to make an impact… you’re just not sure exactly how YOU are going to do it. This note is for you… for us.
I don’t have an answer… yet. But I know that there is a clear and specific purpose for each person. I have a general sense of purpose… to study, write, teach, and call people to God… but I lack specifics beyond that. I wish I knew what they were.
So, I’ve been reading a book called, Leaders Who Last, by Dave Kraft. In this book he discusses the importance of knowing your purpose… it’s critical for lasting in the leadership arena.
He gives eleven pointers that are well worth my time to follow up on so I thought I’d share them with you too. From Dave Kraft, “here are a few steps that will help you on the road to identifying your purpose”:
1. Record Bible passages God has applied to your life.
2. Reflect on how God has used you in the past.
3. Determine what you are passionate about.
4. List your known gifts and strengths.
5. Delineate what you have excelled at in your work experience.
6. Define what action words best describe what you like to do.
7. Write down what you enjoy doing in your free time.
8. Reread all your answers.
9. Take note of common themes.
10. Write down key words or ideas that repeat.
11. Summarize those key words in a short, energizing statement about yourself.
Now I share this, my story and Dave’s tips, for two reasons:
Want to join me on this quest?
A couple of days ago I purchased and started reading Walter Isaacson’s biography of Steve Jobs on my Kindle Touch (which I am LOVING!).
I just read something that took my breath away… a story how the fear of failing again robbed Rob Wayne of $2.6 billion and incredible prestige!
Wayne was a friend who proved helpful in persuading Job’s partner and lead computer designer Steve Wozniak to leave HP and bring his designs with him to the newly formed Apple Corporation.
There was a meeting in which a partnership agreement was written up between the three of them, and that’s where we pick up the story…
…the division of shares and profits was clear—45%-45%-10%—and it was stipulated that any expenditures of more than $100 would require agreement of at least two of the partners. Also, the responsibilities were spelled out. “Wozniak shall assume both general and major responsibility for the conduct of Electrical Engineering; Jobs shall assume general responsibility for Electrical Engineering and Marketing, and Wayne shall assume major responsibility for Mechanical Engineering and Documentation.” Jobs signed in lowercase script, Wozniak in careful cursive, and Wayne in an illegible squiggle.
Wayne then got cold feet. As Jobs started planning to borrow and spend more money, he recalled the failure of his own company. He didn’t want to go through that again. Jobs and Wozniak had no personal assets, but Wayne (who worried about a global financial Armageddon) kept gold coins hidden in his mattress. Because they had structured Apple as a simple partnership rather than a corporation, the partners would be personally liable for the debts, and Wayne was afraid potential creditors would go after him. So he returned to the Santa Clara County office just eleven days later with a “statement of withdrawal” and an amendment to the partnership agreement.
“By virtue of a re-assessment of understandings by and between all parties,” it began, “Wayne shall hereinafter cease to function in the status of ‘Partner.’” It noted that in payment for his 10% of the company, he received $800, and shortly afterward $1,500 more. Had he stayed on and kept his 10% stake, at the end of 2010 it would have been worth approximately $2.6 billion. Instead he was then living alone in a small home in Pahrump, Nevada, where he played the penny slot machines and lived off his social security check. He later claimed he had no regrets. “I made the best decision for me at the time. Both of them were real whirlwinds, and I knew my stomach and it wasn’t ready for such a ride.”
He could have had $2.6 billion. Instead he lives alone in a small home in Nevada playing slot machines and living off of a social security check!
Why?
Because he was scared to fail again.
Please! Listen! If you’ve failed once… failed big… be careful that you don’t allow your fear of failing again to keep you from the biggest breakthrough of your life!
Dave Ramsey shares this quote in his book, EntreLeadership.
“I think there is something more important than believing: Action! The world is full of dreamers, there aren’t enough who will move ahead and begin to take concrete steps to actualize their vision.” — W. Clement Stone
Oh this grips me.
One of Sherri’s and my dreams is to be debt free… to step out of the bondage imposed by debt. For that reason I have secured a second job… a “concrete step to actualize [our] vision.”
What about you. What dreams do you have? What are you doing to actualize them?
I’d love to hear from you on this one!
Admittedly I’m not a Mac guy. BUT I do recognize genius when I see it. Steve Jobs was one of few… a history changer.
I tip my hat to this great man.
Wow! James Loehr’s book, The New Toughness Training for Sports, should be required reading for everyone who is alive. You breathe… you read it. Don’t be deceived by the title. This is not a book exclusively for athletes. It is replete with wisdom for life and those who want to live well.
Because I cannot improve on what he has said, I am going to quote Loehr on the subject of “stress that toughens”. Here we go… (I have put some favorite lines in bold)
“…to much stress or to much recovery will lead to progressive weakening. You also know that physical, mental, or emotional pain is the language of over- and under-training. The question now is, how can you distinguish between stress that toughens and stress that weakens? To answer this you need to look at the issue of stress a little more closely.
…the volume of stress can be divided into four categories:
My friend Rob, who also owns the gym where I work out, gave me a book the other day, The New Toughness Training for Sports by James E. Loeher.
I think that mental toughness is something that every one in general should work to develop, but leaders in particular should hone this skill. Loeher outlines a helpful strategy for athletes, but one that is applicable for everyone who wants to develop “mental, emotional, and physical” toughness too.
Discussing the danger and cause of low motivation he writes:
“Things can get very lonely, confusing, and painful. And the more you care, the more you hurt when you fail again to make it happen.
Athletes figure out very quickly that it hurts less when you don’t care as much. As a result, low motivation becomes a protective strategy for athletes who suffer many perceived failures.”
After recording these words in my journal I wrote, “It’s easier to not care… but it’s not the strategy of winners.”
Are you avoiding an all out effort to do something that you deeply care about… because you are afraid of failing?
Has failure in the past led you to act defensively today; to not care so much so that the sting of failure doesn’t hurt so bad?
It has happened to me. It can happen to you.
I don’t want to let failure in the past shape my heart and drain my passion for the future. That might well mean I will be hurt again in the face of failure (because every time you try, the opportunity for failure is there), but I know this for sure… if I don’t try, if I don’t care I will never win. And neither will you.
So, go care today! Try! If you fail and get hurt get back up! Keep caring! Keep trying!
Right now I am reading one of the best books I have ever read, The Perfect Mile by Neal Bascomb.
It is the story of Roger Bannister, John Landy, and Wes Santee; three runners each attempting to be the first to run a 4 minute mile.
On a day marked by inclimate weather, a day in which he almost decided not to run, Roger Bannister broke the 4 minute mile – 3:59.4.
Later that evening Peter Dimmock, “the honored statesman of British broadcasting, asked Bannister why he finally decided to go for the record despite the weather.
Bannister’s response should be printed and “posterized” for every person with a dream…
There comes a moment when you can’t go on waiting indefinitely. You just have to accept an all-out effort.”
So here’s question for you and me – what do you dream of doing? Why aren’t you doing it?
Train hard then run! Prepare well then go for it!
Stop waiting! Get on your mark. Get set. Go!
For what it’s worth, after reading this morning I wrote in my journal:
“The Perfect Mile” is one of the best written books I have ever read! I literally find myself leaning forward with anticipation and squeezing out time for another chapter! Job well done Neal Bascomb!
This book is packed to the edges with stories of sheer determination, huge heart and iron clad will. I LOVE this story!
Rarely, if ever, do I “cut and paste” someone else’s blog post.
Today is an exception… but worth it.
Seth Godin is a genius. I have his blog posts sent directly to my inbox. For what it’s worth, his is the only blog I have e-mailed to my inbox.
Today he wrote something that is, as normal, dead on…
Most partnerships don’t end up in court.
Most friendships don’t end in a fight.
Most customers don’t leave in a huff.
Instead, when one party feels underappreciated, or perhaps taken advantage of, she stops showing up as often. Stops investing. Begins to move on.
No, I’m not going to sue you. Yes, I’ll probably put my best efforts somewhere else.
Just because there are no firestorms on the porch doesn’t mean you’re doing okay. More likely, there are relationships out there that need more investment, quiet customers who are unhappy but not making a big deal out of it. They’re worth a lot more than the angry ones.
Solomon put pen to paper and wrote words that are part of Christian Scriptures (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) and which have been immortalized by the Byrds (Turn, Turn, Turn).
He writes:
There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to rebuild. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to lose. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak up. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NLT)
Am I, are you, recognizing the times and seasons and living in them or are we trying to stop the inevitable changes of life? If you resist the seasons you lose.
Are you trying to birth something that should die? Build something that should be torn down? Keep something that should be thrown away? Seek peace when war is the appropriate response? Be quiet when it is the season for speaking up?
Solomon teaches us that there is a season for everything. The best gift you can give to yourself, those you love and those you lead is to recognize the season and do what must be done in that season.
One resource that I am finding helpful in this process is Dr. Henry Cloud’s book Necessary Endings.
