Category Archives: Parenting

I know the “MF word”

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That’s what one of my princesses said to me this morning!

Of course I, like you would have, cringed, wondered where she’d learned this word, and then with a fearful heart but a brave face asked the question, “What MF word? What does it mean?”

She looked around then whispered, “Middle” and before she could finish her sentence one of her sisters yelled, “Finger!” As soon as the “er” of “finger” was completed her little princess face screwed all up with the agony that comes with hearing an expletive uttered out loud.

A few things happened in a very short time span:

  • I simultaneously choked back laughter and breathed a sigh of relief.
  • I was very happy to learn that “MF word” means “Middle Finger”.
  • We did have a conversation about what the middle finger means when you give it to someone… and I encouraged her not to ever do this.

Being a parent is always an adventure and always an opportunity to teach! May you enjoy the adventure and take every opportunity to teach your children… even if it starts off with a cringe!

Dating Ashton

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The other day Ashton and I were on our date. After splitting a frosty at Wendy’s we played games and told jokes. I snapped this picture with my phone while she was tracing the letters in a message that I had written to her in “connect the dot” form.

My heart is always happy when we do this and hers is too.

If you’re a parent you can’t afford not to date your child! Do it today and you’ll be glad today… and tomorrow… and when they’re grown!

Date your daughter!

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I’m a busy man. I have one wife and six daughters. I am a pastor of a new church. I work a second at the hospital. There’s more, but 7 ladies and 2 jobs… that’s enough to make the point.

I’m not a perfect dad. I get mad sometimes. I say stupid things with too loud of a voice sometimes. Sometimes I miss opportunities to show love to my ladies. I could go on and on… but again… you get the point.

One thing I do get right though is this… I date my daughters… five of them… every week (the sixth is 9 months old so we don’t do dates yet… but soon).

It’s amazing but somehow one date has the power to eliminate lots of goofs! It is such an important tool for parents that I want to reflect on it a little bit with you.

A few thoughts about dating your daughter (or son):

  • It doesn’t take much. We budget $1 per date. One frosty from Wendy’s costs $1.08 (so I have to foot $.08 from my change jar). The library is free. So is the park… and a lot of other things. Sometimes I take them to the mall or the dollar store so they can buy something with their money.
  • It doesn’t take long. We take one hour per week. It’s amazing how much can happen in one hour when you shut down your phone and focus on your daughter! Sometimes we cheat and go longer.
  • It doesn’t seem like much today. It will be invaluable when they start dating a pick a husband. Someday some boy is going to come along and tell her she’s beautiful. She won’t be overwhelmed because she’s heard that a million times from me. Someday some boy is going to try to impress her… he’d better be good because I do things like open the doors for my ladies and teach them to expect that from the boys they date. In short, our dates are getting them ready to pick a man.

Dating your daughter (or your son) is so important that it’s worth telling other people and activities “No.” It’s worth putting on your calendar every week. It’s worth whatever it takes to make it happen!

Don’t let money or time or distorted perceptions rob you and your daughter (or son) of this incredible gift!

By the way, this was my date last Saturday! (We split a frosty and read a book about princesses… and giggled a LOT!)

 

Raising entrepreneurs

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WOW!

I just watched this TED talk by Cameron Herald entitled “Let’s raise kids to be entrepreneurs”. This is amazing stuff!

A couple of my favorite takeaways:

  • Stop paying your kids an allowance. Start teaching them to look for opportunities to earn.
  • Stop reading stories to your kids every night… give them a chance to create stories of their own.
  • The disease of CEO’s = “Bipolar disorder” (Steve Jobs, Ted Turner, Winston Churchill, etc.)
  • His stories of entrepreneurship as a child are amazing… and doable for any child! They just need permission and urging from a wise parent!

The list goes on and on… this 20 minute talk is important and could change your child’s future! Check it out!

 

Courage

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A couple of weeks ago when Dallas and I were on our date we decided to do some rock scrambling.

One characteristic we want for our girls to possess is courage.

Courage is knowing that the task at hand is big and will require risk yet getting started anyhow. Courage is knowing that the trek will often require more than one move and getting started on the first one. Courage requires tenacity and risk. Courage steps up and puts the hand on the wall and begins the trek.

Another thing about courage is that what takes courage for me may be no big deal for you. Courage is relative to your size, age, resources, experience, etc.

What is common to all though is that the biggest break-through’s are typically preceded by some act or string of acts that required courage.

When Dallas scrambled to the top of the wall we had a party! Yelling! High-Fiving! Celebrating her success!  Courageous action preceded raucous celebration! And it will in your life too.

So, are you ready to put your hand on the wall and begin the climb?

 

Parents – your words are a tool

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This month I am reading through Proverbs and noting everything it has to say about “listening”, and closely related concepts.

It’s insightful that Solomon consistently reminds his son (as do other wise parents in this book – e.g. Proverbs 31:1-9) to pay attention to his teaching, and then do what he says.

Yesterday I noted something of interest and the theme was repeated today. I journaled about this topic both days and today I thought I’d share the journal entry from this morning.

Proverbs 7:1-5 – “My son keep my words… they will keep you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her words.” He then pointed to a young man who was seduced by an adulterous woman and said to his own son, “with persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk.”

Words! There is an unrelenting competition of words and ideas… competing for my children’s heads and hearts! I must always be teaching my children well and effectively.

One way to do this is Proverbs 16:21, “…pleasant words promote instruction.”

I must kindly and consistently teach my children about God and life. If I’m not the most persuasive words and influence in their lives, there will be another and that one not so good.”

Parents, our words matter! The content and the consistency of what we say (and do) will save our children a lot of heartache and set them up for success! Of course there is always the matter of free will (i.e. they have the power to choose to ignore what you teach and model), but why not give them every opportunity for success and health?

Your words, what you say and how you say it are unbelievably important!

God help me and us to measure our words and teach with kindness and consistency!

Dating Reagan

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Last night was date night with Reagan.

Usually we go to Wendy’s, split a $.99 Frosty, and play Memory (she usually skunks me… though last week I won one game!).

Yesterday she wanted to go to the park. We hopped on the motorcycle and took off!

Swinging, playing tag, jumping out of swings, racing across the grass, laughing hard, panting after running… it was an amazing evening!

We were able to snap a couple of pics on my cell phone…

Dates with “The Ladies” are the most important meetings of my week. What seems small today will pay HUGE dividends tomorrow!

One hour per girl per week… less than $2 per girl per date… it’s amazing what BIG things can be accomplished with so little money!

Family defined

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Dallas turned 6 on Wednesday! (Happy Birthday Princess!)

We went to her class to take her cake and celebrate her birthday with her friends.

Outside the classroom were several large sheets of paper with this question on the top:

We set to looking to see what Dallas had written… how she defined “family.” We found it. See if you can find it.

Well, I suppose that based on her experience that definition may be true, but it appears that we have some teaching to do!

Kids and money

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Sherri and I are teaching “The Ladies” four things about money:

Earn it.

Give it.

Save it.

Spend it.

As they get older and we learn more we will teach them more.

Today however we did something important for them. We opened an ING account for each of them.

There is not a lot of money in their accounts. Just what they have saved to date (10% of what they earn).

BUT as they embrace the discipline of saving and begin to earn more that number will grow! And someday they will have a nice chunk of change to buy a car with, put a down payment on their first home, or buy a bunch of Barbies (KIDDING!).

We set up an automated deposit from our account into their separate ING accounts that will come out every payday. Again, the deposit is less than what a bottle of water costs but it’s the discipline of doing it, the fun of watching it grow, and the stockpile they will have someday in the future that makes this so much fun!

Besides that, I’m thinking about changing that time honored but stupid tradition of “Bride’s family pays for wedding” so that they can keep more of that money! ;-)

 

Stages of childhood development

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Tony Blair makes a hilarious and true insight into the stages of the development of persons from infancy to adulthood, in his autobiography, A Journey – My Political Life:

“Except to the doting parents, babies are frankly pretty boring – sweet and cuddly, but still a bit inanimate…. From about age three onward, they get interesting and remain like that up to around age twelve, when the dark mists of hell envelop them. Unbelievably, they emerge again as semi-civilized human beings around the age of twenty, you stop thinking you are a bad parent or there is genetic delinquency in the family, and realize they are still your children and you love them.”