I date my daughters

I date my daughters and it’s the best thing I do as a parent!

Here’s how it works:

  • Each girl gets one hour of “out-of-house” time with dad per week. (It usually ends up being more than one hour but that’s the base-line).
  • I try to do something that will appeal to each daughter’s love language. For instance, Lexington loves quality time so this week we went to the park and played! Reagan loves gifts so I bought her fake flowers and we sat on a swing at Wal-Mart and talked. Ashton likes to sleep so I held her on my chest and we slept! 😉 Dallas… I’m still trying to figure out her love language, but until I do we’re gonna hit the park!
  • It is on my calendar as a meeting. I will miss other meetings to make this one!
  • On our date their is no competition for daddy! I do not answer my phone, text message, or talk with other people while we’re on our date! I’ve seen too many parents take their kids to the park only to get engaged in conversation with another adult. That doesn’t happen here.
  • I wrap up our time together with a prayer for the “Lady” that I’ve just spent time with.

I’ve noticed a few things about dating “The Ladies”

  • They are almost as excited about the date as I am! Seriously, they talk about it all week! They can’t wait to be with daddy!
  • I am a better parent when I date my daughters! I begin seeing them not as “my kids” but as real people with real feelings, thoughts, desires, etc. I find that I respond differently to them when I date them!
  • They are better children when I date them! I am amazed at how differently “The Ladies” act at home and in public when I invest time in them! They listen better, show love more quickly, etc. The bottom-line is when I invest time into “The Ladies” their behavior improves!
  • Sherri is impressed with me when I date “The Ladies.” Most moms want for their children to know the love of their father… a strong, safe, guiding love. Sherri respects me more when I give this time to our children.

A few thoughts when dating your kids:

  • Quit caring about what people think. I had to sing “Baby Fish” and “Mr. Sun” about 50x at the park the other day with Lexington. Some people may have thought I was nuts… but my little girl didn’t and quite frankly that’s all that matters! I refuse to let some “mature” adult shape my relationship with my child! Sing, swing, slide, and crawl with your kids… it’s a date!
  • Do it regularly. For maximum impact put “Date” on your calendar and treat it like a meeting with your boss! It may seem to be an “inconvenience” now, but twenty years from now you’ll look back and say, “It was an investment!” And quite frankly, if you date your child regularly… it won’t take twenty years to see the value of these dates! It’ll take a few weeks and you’ll begin to notice positive changes in them and you!
  • Regularly let them take the lead. Don’t be “grown up” on your date! Let your child take the lead. This does two things: 1) It gives you a window into what your child likes; 2) It helps to develop leadership skills in your child. Throw down your pride and follow your child! It’s a blast!
  • Wrap it up with prayer. I want my girls to know that I love and follow Jesus and that I hope that someday they will love and follow Him too. I wrap up each date with a prayer in which I celebrate the fun we had, the strengths of the individual child, and an expression of love and gratitude to Jesus for allowing me to be the daddy of whichever “Lady” I’m on a date with.

I date my daughters because:

  • I want to know them as people
  • I want to set the bar REAL high when it comes to the expectations they have of the men they will marry
  • I want them to know the love of their earthly father so that they can more fully grasp the love of their Heavenly Father
  • I like how I feel when I see the admiration and love in their eyes when they look at me

Yea, so I date my daughters and it’s the best thing I do as a parent.

8 thoughts on “I date my daughters

  1. My mom and dad used to do that with each of us kids. We loved the personal attention. We had to wait every 4 months though because our dates only happened once a month. Mom and Dad would take turns with us, but I really looked forward to my times with Dad because I didn’t get to see him as much. We were allowed to pick the place and the time and we could pretty much do what we wanted to. It was always fun and it made us feel special!

    I’m glad you are doing it with your ladies and they’ll appreciate it, especially when they get older.

  2. Pastor Paul, I have continued to read your blog since I was born again (baptized) by you at Northgate. One of 163 or so that day. I was among the first to come forward, asking Patty Rowbottom to stand with me. I always said ” I was baptized as and infant of the Catholic Church and I could never change”. Northgate, my sisters at Northgate, and mostly you changed my mind. I wanted to CHOOSE to be baptized and closer to Jesus. My world has changed. Although I need to pray more, thank him more, get closer to Jesus, I find your blogs, and previous sermons helped me see the human side of loving Jesus, and that like learning to walk, I must be patient, ask for his help, and understand that often He asks us to do difficult things, but I now know He and God and the Holy Spirit are in me and are there to guide me. Bless you and the Ladies and the fortunate recipients of your love of Jesus in your new church.

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