Creating the future

I am deeply moved by the fact that I am responsible for shaping the future of my children.

The decisions that Sherri and I make today will determine, in large part, the kind of ladies my girls are tomorrow.

I am a driven man. Starting a church that connects people to God is the primary issue on my mind these days. I read about it, think about it, dream about it, pray about it, study about it, and talk about it. It is often the first thing on my mind in the morning and quite often the last thing on my mind at night. I am consumed with planting a church that does what it is supposed to do… connect people to God.

What I know though is that my daughters are NOT consumed with this same calling. My daughters (i.e. “The Ladies”) don’t give a rip about my “job”, my vision, my calling, or quite frankly anything that I care about!

Right now the most important thing in their lives is… them. (Some people mature out of this phase; many actually remain in this state… they just learn to become more subtle!)

Right now the most important gift I can give my daughters is NOT success, provision, or wisdom. It is time. Time spent with them doing their agenda. This is NOT to say that we don’t do mommy and daddy’s agenda on a regular basis (e.g. clean the room; go play so that mommy and daddy can have mommy and daddy time; etc.). What I mean is that the best gift I can give to each of “The Ladies” is the gift of time in which I make her feel visible and important… more important than anyone or anything (e.g. a new church) in the world!

Every week I go on a date with each of my ladies. That’s five ladies! That’s a lot of time!

There are days when I don’t feel like doing it. There are days when I have to pull myself away from a project to go on a date. There are times when I have to leave a meeting because it’s “date time.” There are times when it’s “date time” and I don’t want to go.

Here’s what I know though… if I allow my immediate feelings to shape my decisions I may end up with a great church but I will certainly lose my family, and I’ll be damned if that happens (check out what the Bible says here and here). Bottom line… I choose my family. I choose my wife. I choose my girls.

I am responsible, in large part, for shaping my children’s future. The best way to shape their future is through a significant investment of time.

My prayer:

“God, help me! Help me to live a life that will honor you, delight my bride, equip my children for a life of greatness, and be a catalyst for life-change for countless people through the work of the new church you’ve called me to start. Amen”

Here’s some ideas for dating your children. 

3 thoughts on “Creating the future

  1. As a little girl I remember holding my dad to a promise he made to take me to the zoo. I can’t believe he actually did it!! The investment you are making now will be SO important to the ladies when they start dating in much, much, much later years. You are setting the bar high on how they see themselves and how they want to be treated. Their self respect will benefit and hopefully it will lead to good choices on their part. They won’t have to be desperate for male attention because they are secure in yours.

  2. Hello Paul,

    It was so refreshing to read about your devotion to God, your wife and your children. Not too many fathers are like that.

    I would like to devote my time to God as well. At this time I don’t know how. Nearly every day I ask him to show me the way how I could serve Him but so far I was not able to “hear’ his calling.

    Do you think it will happen one of these days?
    How did you recognized your calling?

    Enjoy your ‘Ladies’ – you certainly have a handful there.

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