The top five things I will do if caught sexually tempting situation

Sometime ago a friend asked me what I would do if I were sexually solicited by a beautiful woman.

I have actually thought through this scenario and I have a plan if this should ever happen.

DISCLAIMER: I understand it’s a bit presumptuous on my part to assume that a woman would want to come on to me, but just in case that should ever happen… I have a plan! 🙂

Why do I have a plan? Why am I posting this plan?

Pastors are falling victim to pornography, and sexual infidelity at an alarming rate. It scares me for two reasons:

  1. I’m a normal man. If other pastors can fail in this area… I can too.
  2. It gives God a black eye when His chosen ones stand up and speak one thing and then do another. I don ‘t want to do that to my Leader.

The wrong time to figure out what you’re going to do is when the pressure is on. If you wait until you’re being seduced to figure out what you’re going to do… you will most likely make the wrong decision.

Be pro-active! Have your plan in place BEFORE the temptation arises.

So, here’s my top five things that I will do if ever sexually solicited (and I’ll do them in this order):

  • Run! (see these verses) I’m going to run out of that room/building so fast that I’ll lose my dignity (but keep my honor). I’ll look like Popeye with my little legs churning away, taking me far from the temptation! I’d rather look like a running fool and stand with honor in front of my God, my bride, and my church, than I would a humiliated, dishonored pastor having to break the news.
  • Tell my bride. The first person that will know about this will be my bride. I want her to know all of the details. She will be the one most affected if I fail and therefore she will add the greatest accountability to my life. This kind of thing is to important to not tell my bride.
  • Tell my staff or key leaders in the church. They will pray with me and then work with me to set up boundaries that will keep me safe; boundaries that will guard me in the future from ever having to face that individual in another dangerous situation. I, or one of the staff/leaders will let the individual know what actions we have taken.
  • Set up boundaries that keep me an appropriate distance from that individual. I will not trust myself or the individual again… at least for a long time! The reality is that after I survive the temptation, it is possible to start thinking about “What if…” scenarios. To avoid any potential “second-chance mistakes” I will set up boundaries that keep me and/or the other party from EVER having a second chance at seduction or failure.
  • Pray like crazy. I will humble myself before my Leader, Jesus Christ and let Him know that I’m not “all that.” I won’t let pride become a stumbling block. Hey, let’s be honest here… if someone “comes on to me”, I’m going to flex my “guns”, look into the mirror and say/think, “You’ve still got it fella.” Cut it out! I won’t let pride seduce me! I will pray against pride and I will pray against any “What if…” thoughts. I will not allow fantasy scenarios about what could have happened if I’d stayed, to run through my head! I will destroy them through prayer.

So there’s the plan.

How about you? Do you have a plan?

5 thoughts on “The top five things I will do if caught sexually tempting situation

  1. Excellent post! We were just talking last week in Teen Club about having an escaper plan for temptation. And, no1 was to RUN RUN RUN!
    I remember my dad sitting down with me as a pre-teen and discussing drugs and sexual temptation and helping me come up with a plan of escape. That meant a lot to me.
    Why do we have fire drills in school? Same reason.

  2. Paul,
    Last night in youth group we went over the Joseph story. The NIV is really pretty graphic about the relentless attacks of this woman! We said how important it was to have a plan. My plan was something like this…
    Do not look back over my shoulder.
    Run faster.
    Pray! Pray, “oh please don’t let her catch me.. oh please don’t let her catch me” Father, put down a hedge of protection behind me and keep her away from me!!
    Interesting, that 1. you should blog that today, 2. that your plan should look so much like mine. It must be a good plan! 😛 I fortunately have the distinct advantage of having no guns to flex and of being as homely as a rock. God has given me some great defenses! 🙂
    Thanks for forming the fire drill plan and posting it. Perhaps you should label the post, “in case of fire, break glass”!

  3. This is a great example Paul provided us with here. I think it works in our daily lives too, not just for the off chance that a hot woman comes on to us (when my wife has energy, sometimes she will, but hey that’s OK!).

    If we live our lives with purpose & intention, we’re more likely to succeed and less likely to waste our potential. The preparation Paul spoke of gives him the opportunity to serve God, respect his wife and think out a situation that might ruin his life. Time well spent (in Vegas no less — lol) giving himself clarity.

    What I’m talking about is MUCH easier said than done. But what is the alternative? We’re all here for a reason, and no matter what God you worship it is a shame to let our calling slip away.

    I feel pushed to my limit just about every day, and I’m just getting by. I’m sure many people feel the same. But does that mean we should succumb to the temptation of giving up?

    I think not. Don’t give up! Trust in the Universe, it is capable of great things if we let it help us!



  4. hhmmm, how bout this, we are fallible, mortal men and women. if we don’t have deep emotional and sexually fulfiling relations with our spouses, we will fall. if we have our spouse as our guard and hedge then the temptation is reduced. for guys, that means we need to be sensitive to our wives emotions.
    they want love, guys need respect. when wive make us 2nd class citizens in our own houses; ie ridiiculing or belittling our ‘guy’ stuff, refusing to have meaningful sex or refusing to keep our attention. when this happens the likelihood of a man straying groes exponentially. when guys ignore their wives, don’t fulfil their desires, don’t just sit and listen to them; we put our wives at risk to succumbing to a ‘tall dark handsome’ lover.

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