Sometime ago a friend asked me what I would do if I were sexually solicited by a beautiful woman.
I have actually thought through this scenario and I have a plan if this should ever happen.
DISCLAIMER: I understand it’s a bit presumptuous on my part to assume that a woman would want to come on to me, but just in case that should ever happen… I have a plan! 🙂
Why do I have a plan? Why am I posting this plan?
Pastors are falling victim to pornography, and sexual infidelity at an alarming rate. It scares me for two reasons:
- I’m a normal man. If other pastors can fail in this area… I can too.
- It gives God a black eye when His chosen ones stand up and speak one thing and then do another. I don ‘t want to do that to my Leader.
The wrong time to figure out what you’re going to do is when the pressure is on. If you wait until you’re being seduced to figure out what you’re going to do… you will most likely make the wrong decision.
Be pro-active! Have your plan in place BEFORE the temptation arises.
So, here’s my top five things that I will do if ever sexually solicited (and I’ll do them in this order):
- Run! (see these verses) I’m going to run out of that room/building so fast that I’ll lose my dignity (but keep my honor). I’ll look like Popeye with my little legs churning away, taking me far from the temptation! I’d rather look like a running fool and stand with honor in front of my God, my bride, and my church, than I would a humiliated, dishonored pastor having to break the news.
- Tell my bride. The first person that will know about this will be my bride. I want her to know all of the details. She will be the one most affected if I fail and therefore she will add the greatest accountability to my life. This kind of thing is to important to not tell my bride.
- Tell my staff or key leaders in the church. They will pray with me and then work with me to set up boundaries that will keep me safe; boundaries that will guard me in the future from ever having to face that individual in another dangerous situation. I, or one of the staff/leaders will let the individual know what actions we have taken.
- Set up boundaries that keep me an appropriate distance from that individual. I will not trust myself or the individual again… at least for a long time! The reality is that after I survive the temptation, it is possible to start thinking about “What if…” scenarios. To avoid any potential “second-chance mistakes” I will set up boundaries that keep me and/or the other party from EVER having a second chance at seduction or failure.
- Pray like crazy. I will humble myself before my Leader, Jesus Christ and let Him know that I’m not “all that.” I won’t let pride become a stumbling block. Hey, let’s be honest here… if someone “comes on to me”, I’m going to flex my “guns”, look into the mirror and say/think, “You’ve still got it fella.” Cut it out! I won’t let pride seduce me! I will pray against pride and I will pray against any “What if…” thoughts. I will not allow fantasy scenarios about what could have happened if I’d stayed, to run through my head! I will destroy them through prayer.
So there’s the plan.
How about you? Do you have a plan?