On the way down here (to the beach) we stopped for a gut-bomb-burger (aka McDonalds). While we were there we saw a dad with his four kids, ages ranging from 6-16. He was having a blast with them and they were fully engaged in animated conversation with him too! It was refreshingly awesome to watch.
As they were preparing to leave I mentioned to him that we had enjoyed watching the interaction and that we especially enjoy seeing large families enjoy one another. And then I asked him for his “best parenting practice.”
After we talked for a while he shared something with us that had been shared with him. It was incredible so I want to share it with you.
He said that in most encounters, a child is asking one of two questions:
- Who loves me?
- Who is in control?
In the two days since then I have seen these two questions asked in a variety of ways but there just the same.
As Sherri and I have been reviewing our parenting and how our children interact with us, we agree with this man.
In almost every encounter we have an opportunity to express one of two things:
- I love you.
- I am in control here (by the way, this is more about training your child to be in control some day than it is a power trip).
A few miles and a few burps later McDonalds was gone for good, but that parenting nugget will stay forever.
Thank you nameless man who eats at McDonalds and is a really great dad!
5 thoughts on “2 questions kids are asking”
This is spectacular. Thanks for sharing it, friend! It has been officially put into the Nelson Family Parenting file for long-term reference.
Thanks for posting this.
That’s one of those that sticks in your head for sure.
WOW! That’s it in a Mc”Nugget” for sure. I’ve always said lack of relationship= rebellion… Those two questions are answered in relationship. Thanks for sharing that… it can spill over to any adult – child encounter such as teaching Sunday School, etc.
great thought Paul. I’m with my granddaughter and I can see her wondering those same questions (4 months old!). Blessings
Thanks for sharing, Paul. A really good nugget, and much easier to apply than the usual writing about kids boundary testing. Kids push things for a purpose, and this is a much easier frame to help understand why.