21 Irrefutable laws of parenting

I submit to you the 21 Irrefutable Laws of Parenting (with regards to John Maxwell and his 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership).

  1. Someone will poop right when you’re late and running out the door.
  2. Someone will run naked into your living room when you are entertaining guests.
  3. Someone will throw your cell phone into the bathtub… at least once.
  4. Someone will hide your keys and forget where they are.
  5. Someone will make funny comments about “certain body parts”… publicly.
  6. You will have to touch poop.
  7. You will be the couple no one wants to sit next to in the restaurant… at least once.
  8. You will feel like quitting… at least once.
  9. You will have to continually evaluate and revise your parenting style.
  10. You will wonder whether or not spanking is the best option.
  11. They will act like you.
  12. They will accept your apology.
  13. They will make you laugh.
  14. They will teach you about grace.
  15. They will come up with the most creative places to hide food they don’t want to eat.
  16. At least once they will cut their own hair with sharp, adult-only objects.
  17. At least once they will get a bruise that looks for sure like child abuse.
  18. At least once they will make you curse (at least in your head).
  19. At least once they will throw themselves screaming to the ground.
  20. At least once they will make loud, obnoxious body noises… and people will think it was you
  21. Being a parent is the highest title of honor and the best experience… ever. Even God chose to refer to Himself as “Father.”

I am continually humbled, angered, challenged, overwhelmed, grateful, and excited about being a parent! I have learned more about God, myself, leadership, relationships, etc. since I’ve been a parent than ever before! I love this phase of life!

How about you? How’s the parenting journey coming along?

Do you have any “irrefutable laws” of your own?

19 thoughts on “21 Irrefutable laws of parenting

  1. I think I have experienced 19 of your 21 laws. Good stuff man.

    Just this week I had one kid with a cut on her face, one with stitches in her lip, and one with a shiner. All three of my kids looked like victims.

    I got a couple of looks myself.

  2. They will fight with each other like cats and dogs one minute, and be laughing together the next!

    Loved this post! Thanks!

  3. Regarding #17, I can’t even count the number of times either my wife or I has said, “That’s it, social services is going to be knocking on our door.” On a better note, my two-year-old girl recently has enjoyed saying that her kisses “make Daddy’s heart feel better.” Gotta love that.

  4. They will make you say something one or both of your parents used to say (that used to drive you crazy.)

    They will also make you wonder why you waited so long to have kids the minute they are born.

    #6 is hilarious. I already dealt with this as a dog owner, but my daughter added a whole new dimension to the poop conundrum.

  5. I liked them so much I stole them for my own blog! Sort of. I forgot one: they will do the most wrong thing for which you will need to turn your head so they cannot see you laugh! Then, you take a picture and discipline them, later posting it on your blog. I LOVE kids.

  6. and that is only the beginning!! LOL Just wait until they become TeenAgers!! It only gets better! You will survive! It will be apparent by your gray hair! We are praying for you Brother!!

  7. Maybe this a corrollary or at least a reading between the lines of #8, #9:
    They will see your parenting the most clearly and honestly and will help you evaluate it by calling your bluff. (You said X, but you did Y Dad)
    or worse yet may say “You are blowing it as a Dad” (and they will be right).
    If this happens, be humble and admit it and cling to #12.
    It just happened to me this week!
    Ugg, Mike

  8. 1. You will hurt in ways you never imagined when they hurt.
    2. You will never have a prouder moment than when they have succeeded.
    3. They will challenge your authority at some time, usually when someone else is watching.
    4. They will leave sooner than you think…and you will miss them immensely.
    5. You can get even with them one day….it is when they become the parent. 🙂

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