What a husband who just lost his wife told me today…

This is Kelvin and Mary…


Mary died last Thursday.

This morning I ate breakfast with Kelvin.

We talked mostly about Mary.

Kelvin told me something that I need to tell you. He told me that I could.

“Don’t fight over the little things.” That’s what Kelvin said.

So she forgot to pay a bill. Don’t fight over it.

So he left his shoes in the hallway. Don’t fight about it.

Kelvin and Mary didn’t fight. Seriously, they didn’t.

Looking back he says that even the small moments of tension they had weren’t worth getting stressed out over.

What matters is love. Memories. Working together. Building something together.

Sometimes we fight over the little things… assuming that she/he will be there later on to clear things up.

She may not be.

Kelvin encouraged me to tell you to live with grace. Kindness. Patience. Love. Live today like she might be gone tomorrow.

That’s what Kelvin said.

3 thoughts on “What a husband who just lost his wife told me today…

  1. I have known Kelvin for years. He and my late husband grew up in the same neighborhood and we were all going to church together when my first husband died. I had no idea he had suffered this same loss, but his words are so true. I am so sorry for his pain, “but we do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.”

  2. Mary and Kelvin were married only 4 1/2 months. They blended a family of his 3 children: now 11, 14 and 15 and her two children: now 10 and 12 into a family of 7 with love and grace. God’s Grace. It was the sweetest fairy tale connection to witness. We watched as they fell in love, hard. We watched as they blended this family and now this tragedy. Mary and Kelvin loved with a passion not known to either of them before. Kelvin’s words are true: Dont sweat the small stuff. Just love. Love is patient. Love is kind. That was Mary and Kelvin. Mary was my daughter, my first born. She was a true matriarch and we should all be takin notes!

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