This morning I had a conversation with someone about the value of setting goals.
This person is trying to figure out what goals to set. For all intents and purposes this person is doing well: physically attractive, financially set, intellectually sharp, relationally fulfilled. What else could someone want? Right?
We talked for a while and I began to ask some questions… questions that have me thinking and might be helpful for you to process as well:
- What happens when you’re the strongest person in the gym?
- What happens when you’re smartest person in the room?
- What happens when you’re the best… or at least better than those around you?
Not always, but often, you will begin to stagnate. You will be tempted to settle… because you’re already at the top (as least as far as you can tell).
You may be tempted to pride… after all, you’re stronger, smarter, richer, prettier, funnier, etc. than the rest of your friends so what else is there to do but keep doing what got you there?!
That’s a dangerous place to be!
John Maxwell teaches a principle that goes something like this:
If you’re always the biggest guy in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
I’ve found that when I am surrounded by people who are better than I am, it makes me want to be better! It makes me think deeper, dream bigger, work harder, and stick with it longer!
The gym where I train is filled with strong people! Heck, the women in our gym are stronger than the men in most gyms! There are multiple men who are deadlifting over 600 pounds and squatting well over 500 pounds. Benching 300 pounds at our gym won’t even get you on the “strongest lifters in the gym” board.
In most gyms I’d be considered a pretty strong dude. In Brutal Iron Gym, when I do a heavy lift my buddies look at me and say, “Are you done warming up yet?” (Then they celebrate my lift… because that’s how we roll at BIG).
I like that… I like it because it drives me to work harder and be better!
Being surrounded by people who are better than I am makes me want to be better… and it shows me HOW to be better!
The same is true in every other area of life:
- I want to be a great husband… so I need to spend time around awesome husbands.
- I want to handle my money well… so I need to spend time around people who handle their money well.
- I want to represent Jesus well… so I need to hang out around people who live out their faith consistently and well.
- I want to be a great dad…
- I want to be a great leader…
- I want to be a great communicator…
You get the point.
If you want to be better you can’t always be the best in the room! You’ve got to put yourself in environments where you are surrounded by people who are better than you.
Now here’s an important caveat:
This is not a call for us to self-denigrate! This is not the time to begin private messaging yourself saying “You’re no good” or “You’re never going to be that good”… etc. NOPE! This is the time and place to be inspired… to ask questions… to take notes… to see how those better than you are performing so that you can perform that way too!
So, if you’re not sure what goals to set or how to get unstuck… get around people who are better than you! I think you might just like what happens when you’re not the best person in the room!