Last week I made the most difficult decision of my life thus far. I decided to step away from being a personal trainer.

For the last five years I have been a personal trainer at a place that literally transformed my life… Brutal Iron Gym.

When I first walked into that building, back in 2009, I was in a dark place spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Through friendships, hard work, increased levels of self-control, and renewed courage and confidence I rediscovered myself.

When Rob Polenik (the owner of Brutal Iron Gym) asked me to be a trainer, and then asked me to consider competing in a bodybuilding show (in the physique division)… I didn’t know then, but he was saving my life.

When I walked into the gym I was close to walking out of ministry. I was burned out; disheartened; weak; and unhealthy.

Over the last five years I have worked with wonderful people, made incredible friendships, and rediscovered God and myself in the most unlikely of environments… surrounded by sweaty people, screaming music, and the nonstop clanking of iron.

I needed what Brutal Iron Gym gave me… strength. I needed to learn how to put a plan together and work the plan. I needed to learn how to persevere when I felt miserable. I needed to learn how to bounce back from failure. I needed to learn how to work on my weaknesses so that my strength would increase. I needed all of this… and found it at Brutal Iron Gym.

I walked in unhealthy and weak. I walk out healthy and strong. Thank you Rob. Thank you Brutal Iron Gym. Thank you to all of my friends and clients. I am different… better because of you.

This has been the hardest decision of my life. Seriously.

For the last 6-12 months I have had an “inkling” that this would happen. I ignored it… because I hated the idea.

Over the last two months I began to say it out loud – “Someday I may need to say goodbye to this chapter in my life.”

Last week God put His finger in my chest, and I knew with undeniable clarity that it was time to do what I had been slowly acknowledging. So I am doing it. After meeting with Rob and all of my clients, I determined that the end of this month (March) will close this chapter in my life. (EXCEPTION CLAUSE: I am working with two clients who are prepping for shows and I will complete my commitment to them.)

So why? Why am I leaving?

I’m not sure what you believe about God, but I believe that He creates and calls us to a purpose… a life mission. I know that my life purpose/mission is to pastor and lead in the church. In my case it is Church180.

It has taken me about ten years to fully recover from my “ministry miscarriage” (a church plant that failed to materialize). During these last years I have rediscovered strength, hope, vision, and energy, and now it’s time to engage all of those in the primary calling of my life… leading and loving the church.

I will continue to nurture friendships developed at the gym, and I will continue to work out… in other words, I’ll not be a fat pastor with no atheist friends!!! 😉

I have cried over this decision… and found deep peace in making it.

I am sad and excited! I am a little scared and a lot fired-up!

I have learned a lot from my time as a trainer… and now I’m ready to fully dive into the primary calling of my life.

To all of my friends at Brutal Iron Gym… I love you and am grateful for your input into my life. I’m better and stronger, and I know a lot more “bad songs” because of you! I love you!

To all of my friends at Church180… I love you and am excited about what God is going to do in us and through us as we line up behind Him and get to work lifting heavy things!