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The “stuff” that matters

Last night we sat down and played Memory with “The Ladies” and then had a little snack around their table… on their plates, sang some songs, read a story, asked them questions about the story, prayed together, and then tucked them into bed. It was one of the most awesome nights I’ve had in a…

Last night we sat down and played Memory with “The Ladies” and then had a little snack around their table… on their plates, sang some songs, read a story, asked them questions about the story, prayed together, and then tucked them into bed.

It was one of the most awesome nights I’ve had in a long time!

I feel such a deep fulfillment when I spend quality time with my family like this!

And yet I find it’s often hard for me to initiate this. I love my job! It’s difficult for me to disconnect.

I ate lunch with a friend this week who is pretty “Type A“. I asked him if he ever feels like he’s getting “an A+” at home and at work… at the same time. He said “No.”

Crap! I often feel like when I’m getting an “A+” at home that I’m not getting a good grade at work, and when I feel like I’m getting an “A+” at work I feel like I’m not getting it at home. Have you ever felt this way?

I have a hard time balancing between the two… and yet I know I must! I have to because there are other people who can do my job, but no one else can be the husband of my wife or the father of my children.

I really do love my family… A LOT! And yet I have a hard time disconnecting from what I do to spend simple time on the floor with a plastic tea cup in my hand!

The crazy thing is that I’ve read, taught, and listened to those who wished they had done it differently…

Do you struggle with disconnecting so that you can connect with the “stuff” that matters?

Have you found what works?

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Responses to “The “stuff” that matters”

  1. Beth

    I was starting a new job a couple of months ago and after 3 weeks on the job someone said “Have you always been a perfectionist!” Yikes, I do get pretty intense when I am driven. Is it control, is it desire, is it perseverance, accomplishment, vision, service. Yes Paul I too struggle with the same concept. In fact my job is super consuming but not alot of people understand what I deal with so I become more consumed (inwardly). This is where my problem lies. I have difficulty staying grounded.
    Here is the good news! I have and serve an awesome God who not only knows the struggles but he put me in the position. I am doing his work. Well let me rephrase that God does not need me but he is using me. I am convinced that he teaches me more in the process that I could ever teach my clients. In my service I am growing as a servent.
    This is an intense struggle for my family as they put up with my moments of intensity. But the truth is I need them. One night my son threw a piece of spaghetti across the table. My husband retailited with a quick manuver of several strands of sticky macaroni. The rest is Beale family history. I was still finding macaroni a month later!!!
    This week I was really sick and I let down those at work, ( I was off for the whole week) I was not real productive at home. ( I basically just lounged around)
    I did connect with God. I read, prayed and felt the most spiritual that I have in a while. That takes away any guilt that I had. I kinda think that God put me in place to sit and not be everything. It is these times of reflection that I am too busy to pay attention too and I miss the simple things like ‘memory game and a snack.'(also a fav at the Beale home)
    Basically I do not have an answer but I do struggle with balance. You have a beautiful family and you are doing what God has called you to do!! Just think how awesome heaven will be: spaghetti and plastic tea cup at the great feast!!!!!

    Reply
  2. Melody

    I felt that way when I was the MOPS Coordinator. There were days when MOPS had to be on the front burner and my family had to sit on the back burner. I didn’t neglect them entirely, but they didn’t get the best I could give. During times like that, I determined in my heart that after I got past a big deadline, I would “make it up to them” the next day. If we had to get by with leftovers on a MOPS day, I would make a big meat and potatoes and gravy meal the next. If the kids watched too much TV while I worked on a project one day, I’d make a point to sit and play the next.

    I struggle to sit and do the stuff that lights up the boys eyes (but inside of me it kind of grates my nerves). I’m looking for things that we can do together which all of us can genuinely enjoy. I pray that the Lord will teach us how to engage, enjoy, and encourage eachother. And every now in then I see an answer to that prayer and we have one of those blissful moments filled with laughter.

    Gradually, we have added little meaningful bits to our routine that I hope nurture our relationship. In the morning as I drop the boys off at school, I say a prayer for them before they step out of the van. After, school I get them a snack, check their book bags and ask about their day. At bed time, we read stories and talk and pray. And they know I will not answer the phone if we are eating a meal or reading books. I hope they catch the message “You are more important to me.”

    The best person to help you come up with a plan for balance in your home is your helpmate. LET her help you. That’s what God put her there for. Ask her what would hit the spot at home when she’s had to sit on the back burner. Don’t say a word…just listen and pray and God will show you what to do.

    Reply

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