Children are people too

Reading this morning from Proverbs, I came across these words, “The Lord… blesses the home of the righteous.” In a nutshell, the Bible says that God considers anyone who trusts in Jesus to be righteous (e.g. Romans 3:22). I trust in Jesus, therefore God considers me to be righteous.

Anyhow, last night I experienced this blessing.

Moving is tough. If you’re a little person who doesn’t understand why all of your stuff is getting put into boxes, and neither do you understand why mommy and daddy are so sensitive about you touching those boxes, moving can be even tougher!

Last night I was frustrated with one of our girls. I was frustrated that she wouldn’t go to sleep (as has become her norm). After about an hour of struggle I picked her up in my arms and gently held her… within minutes she was out and she’s still sleeping!

As I held her it occurred to me, she is an individual. She is a single entity. She has feelings about this move that her sisters, or mother, or I do not. She has a different way of working through life in general, and this move in particular, than me. Quite frankly, we all process life in our own unique way.

I have a tendency to think of my children as a group (almost a crowd!). It looks like this:

  • “It’s time to put the kids in bed.”
  • “We’ve gotta go! Let’s get the kids in the van.”
  • “It’s supper time, let’s get the kids to the table.”

Before long, these four awesome little girls become one group… “the kids”, or as I sometimes affectionately refer to them, “The Ladies”, and I have lost any sense of their individuality.

As I held my little one last night, I felt as if God was reminding me that she is not like her sisters. She is not like me. She is a person, an individual with unique needs, value, methods of expressing herself, and ways of receiving love.

The best gift I can give to my children is to recognize each one of them as individuals and treat them as such. It’s time to stop thinking of my children as a group.

Sure, I’m still likely to call them, “The Ladies”, and work to “get the kids in the van”, but I’m going to be more aware of the individuals that make up that group.

Here’s one way I’m going to improve on this: Date night. Recently, in the busyness of moving, I have not been dating my daughters. Bad daddy… no biscuit. When I date my ladies, I am much more aware of them as individuals. So, when we get to Cincinnati (in four days), I’m going to get back into the swing of things.

Thank you Lord for blessing my home and giving me this little insight.

6 thoughts on “Children are people too

  1. gold star AAAAand…a smiley face sticker. Good call on this one Paul.

    …praying for God’s blessing and guidance for every step of your move. In the midst of your moving, watch where He’s moving 😉

  2. Hey Paul, It is always great to read your thoughts on your relationship with your girls! It’s also good to know that a pastor is having some of the same difficulties that I face as well…..On a lighter note, I was wondering if you and your lovely family will be joining us at Center Pointe again? and If so if you guys would like to jon our little after church celebration one Sunday (which consists of Subway and Miami Meadows park) We do it a couple of times a month with Danny and Sarah Simpson

  3. And he restores our sight!!!!!!!
    When we are connected to the Father he gives us a glimse of his views also!!!

    Wanted to share one of my kids favorite memories :it was a stressful move and we took all of those moving boxes, gathered up some markers and crayons, tape and scissors and make a cool fort!!!!

    We love hearing about your journey!!

  4. Just had a date with my son and boy does that change his attitude! He snuck around the house gathering his backpack and stuff so he wouldn’t let the girls know where he was going! tee hee hee!

    I do the same thing since our three travel in a pack. We forget they react differently. Good stuff and save travels to you!

  5. Well said.

    I often get so caught up in getting the kids ready for bed, making sure they’re eating enough, etc., that I foget that they’re human beings. And sometimes their needs are not in alignment with what I want their needs to be.

    My greatest shortcomings are patience and compassion. All too often (usually once a day) I find myself yelling about something really trivial. Dealing in a most un-spiritual way. And when the kids are upset, I don’t always give their issue(s) the respect i’d like to. I know God (the Universe) does not judge me. I can only pray for the strength to be a better dad ALL the time, not 95% of the time.

    Peace,

    Joey
    http://www.daddybrain.wordpress.com

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